I would like to propose a toast to the crazy old man pedalling a one-man surrey bicycle down Highway 5 today while I was on the way to the office this morning. Choosing to pedal your dork-mobile on a stretch of road that has no shoulder was truly a stroke of genius. I applaud your faith in St. Paul drivers' ability and desire to avoid killing you.
Somebody has watched just one too many episodes of the "The A Team."
Wait just a minute! That vagina is not up to code.
The problem with the candy cigarettes we used to get at the 7-Eleven when I was a boy was the fact that they didn't cause cancer. Now someone has fixed that problem.
"Unfortunately he never did have the ability or the skills to really be a mayor."
Talk about cruel and unusual punishment: "I think they should be locked in a room and have to watch the whole series of the 'Andy Griffith Show'..."
And people say the media never report good news.
Janet Jackson's mind may or may not be sexual, but it's certainly not functioning properly. Strawberry? Damita Jo? A crush on Barry Manilow?
The mysterious Professor Wrestling reveals the actual names of pro wrestlers.
The equally mysterious tale of an enormous dead sturgeon.