"We'd like to thank you for flying Northwest Airlines, we hope you enjoy your visit to South Dakota and, huh? We did what? Oh, crap."
Happy cows come from California. Happy cows consume rocket fuel.
Non-Minnesotans may not be aware of the major cultural event that is the Minnesota State Fair, and more's the pity for those people. One of the highlights of the Fair are the numerous foodstuffs available on sticks: ice cream on a stick, corn dogs (known as Pronto Pups up here), pork chop on a stick, walleye on a stick, turkey on a stick, steak on a stick, corn on a stick, fried candy bars on a stick, etc.
But put a stick through this and I think you've got this year's most popular Fair treat.
I am shocked -- shocked I say -- to learn that, less than two weeks removed from her 18th birthday, the wheels have come off for Mary-Kate Olsen.
According to Teen People (I'm an avid reader, don't you know), Mary-Kate lives by the motto: "Life is short, eat dessert first." -- Apparently life is too short to digest that food.
First Christina Aguilera cancelled her tour because of a vocal strain. Then Britney Spears cancelled her tour because of a bum knee. Now Jessica Simpson has fallen out due to a mysterious illness. These pop stars are dropping like flies, man -- no longevity whatsoever.
After posting that long-haired picture of myself the other day, I've been thinking about growing out my locks again. But I think this would be overdoing it.