Monday, July 19, 2004

Damn that vainglorious little bear

What the heck has happened to the Snuggle fabric softener bear?!

At one time, it was a cute little daredevil bear that enjoyed leaping from cupboards into piles of freshly folded laundry and laughing his cute little laugh. Now he's just a pompous stuffed bear.

It started with that advert where he laughed at the porcupine who wanted to be the Snuggle fabric softener bear. You think it's easy being a porcupine? No one ever wants to cuddle up with you -- life is just one long series of rejection. Porcupines need love, too. And Snuggle, the self-involved little devil bear, laughs at the porcupine's pain!

Now there's a new advert where some woman is lured to him in a forest, and the whole thing has a weird drug-filled porno feel to it. My wife points out that Snuggle has lost his cute voice and now sounds like a 15-year-old. Snuggle has become a punk.

This once cute bear is now tormenting porcupines and menacing women in the woods. Next thing you know, this evil bear will be putting our children's lives at risk.

Will you stop at nothing, Snuggle bear?! Have you no shame, sir?! Have you no shame?!

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