Wednesday, July 7, 2004

I have to write the book, too?

  • You know, the world simply cannot have enough bendy dogs.

  • That's a good name for a band; The Bendy Dogs.
    On Sunday I came up with a good title for a book: "American Fun." On the cover of the book, I would have a picture of a middle-aged and weathered Midwestern woman sitting in a folding lawn chair, smoking a cigarette and holding a sparkler. Now I just need a plot, beginning, middle and end for said book.

  • Sometimes just a few words explain the whole story: "The driver, who is in her 70s... apparently pressed the accelerator when she thought she was hitting the brake."

  • I think Winnebagos make this man angry. (Link contains a whole lot of naughty language)

  • This song is truly one of the most heart-touching pieces of music I've ever heard.

  • I can't think of anything more fun than a collection of 200 presidential campaign ads, spanning more than 50 years.
    No, wait. I wrote that wrong -- I can think of plenty of things that are more fun. Roasting marshmallows comes to mind straightaway. But it's still pretty interesting.

  • Here's something else that I find interesting that, in fact, probably just stands as evidence to the fact that I am a dork: People in Missouri have unearthed a baby mastodon.
    I am in the middle of reading "Mammoth," by Richard Stone, about the search to find a well-preserved mammoth that would, in part, allow mad Japanese scientists to attempt to clone the extinct beasts. My wife suggests there may be some ethical complications to bringing back a creature that's been dead for at least 4,000 years. Ethics schmethics I say!! Give me living mammoths now! If stupid John Kerry had made me vice president, I would have made the cloning of a mammoth one of the pillars of my administration. I would have overseen the founding of Mammoth World, and I would have gotten Cherie Blair to pose nude whilst riding one.
    I bought my mammoth book in Hot Springs, S.D., where no less than 52 particularly dumb mammoths managed to fall into a pond and drown over time. All of the bones found are from male mammoths, so indeed they were particularly dumb -- especially when you consider the fact that the majority of the mammoths found were teenagers. I suspect that the older ones managed to get themselves killed while trying to relive their youth, rather than going out and collecting grasses for their family or whatever it is that a respectable adult mammoth is supposed to do.
    South Dakota is perhaps more famous for another large animal, however -- the bison. The bison was around during the days of the mammoth but somehow managed to survive into the modern age, despite our best efforts. And here is the thing about bison: they are delicious! I can't help but wonder what I'm missing out on by not being able to sample mammoth meat.

  • Dearest Blogger technical staff,
    Your servers appear to have exploded and your backup squirrel in a wheel appears to be having trouble keeping up. Please fix.
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