One of the best ways to burn $60 in six hours in the great state of Minnesota is to go to the Minnesota State Fair.
It's a documented fact that I love the fair. Recently my wife and I took a trip to the "Great Minnesota Get Together" and I thought I'd share the experience for those of you not fortunate enough to live in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.
Here's the entrance:
This is the sky ride. There are actually two different types of aerial tramway -- one open, one enclosed -- to transport people across large sections of the fairgrounds.
There are a number of rides at the fair, of course -- very few of which I feel inclined to pay hard-earned money for. One of the staples, however, is the Ye Olde Mill. Operating continuously since 1913, it is little more than a dark tunnel and an opportunity to make out. My wife was with me, so it was $4 well spent.
Along with the rides, one of the key attractions to the fair is the food. Here's what I ate:
A Pronto Pup (commonly known as a corn dog).
Cheese curds, by the way, look like this. They are large bits of deep-fried cheese.
And I finished it all off with a ridiculously huge helping of Sweet Martha's chocolate chip cookies.
There were plenty of other things for which I simply did not have room in my stomach. For example:
Deep-fried candy bars.
Cheese on a stick.
And various types of sausage. That's my friend Anne's hand in the way.
This is Anne. At the carnival area, she and I forked out a combined $16 to attempt to smash plates by throwing balls at them. I succeeded in smashing one plate but got nothing for it but the satisfaction of shattering dinner ware.
And this is my very good friend, Heidi, whom I realized today I have known for a whopping 10 years. Despite our knowing each other for a decade, Heidi is a veritable fountain of youth. She is definitely not 31 years old, despite what any bastard age-guessing carnies might say.
But it's not all just rides and food and smashed plates and the juxtaposition of Heidi in front of the Republican Party booth. The fair has plenty of other attractions. For example:
And senior citizens exercising.
After all this excitement, I was exhausted. I looked and felt like poop.
Thank goodness the Minnesota State Fair only takes place once a year. I will spend the next several months resting up and do it all again a year from now.