My latest column is out. Please forward it to all your friends, family and elected representatives.
There's something interesting to note about this week's column. In this column I write:
"Journalists are utterly worthless. You'll get no homemade wine or soggy baskets from us. If you've somehow forgotten where you've put all your liquor, we may be able to help there, but beyond that we have no useful skills."
Compare this with a joke from Dave Barry's Sunday column:
"Like, if you had a toilet leak, and you called a columnist, instead of fixing the leak, he'd give you his strongly worded opinion, based on information hastily obtained from Google, about whether the leak was a good thing or a bad thing. At least 70 percent of the time he would be wrong."
The casual observer might accuse me of stealing Dave Barry's theme. But they'd be wrong. You, dear reader, know that I came up with it first -- more than a week ago. Stop stealing my ideas, Dave!
(Because, you know, I'm sure he reads my blog every day. And I've never stolen any of Dave's ideas. OK, maybe once or twice I've done that, but definitely not 174 times.)