Friday, October 22, 2004

Good advice

Lately my coworkers and I have been exchanging tidbits of good advice. Here's what we have so far:

  • If a fire starts in the pile of old napkins you have in the floor of your car, don't put it out with coffee; the smell won't go away.

  • If you're standing across the street from a friend and he asks to use your mobile phone, don't throw it to him. It will end up in unrecognizable pieces.

  • If you are using an Asian squat toilet, make sure your pockets are emptied of items that you want to keep.

  • If you are running full speed through an English university residence hall, watch your head; the doorjambs are lower than you might think.

  • If the police officer who's just stopped you for DUI suggests it's a nice night for a walk home, agree with him; go for a walk.

  • If you purchase soup from a local supermarket deli, don't assume the cup they put it in is water-tight; do not rest the cup on expensive trousers.

    Please add your own advice in the comments field.
  • 1 comment:

    Jenny said...

    If you notice a thin film of ice building up on the back of your refrigerator, remain calm, eat all food in refrigerator*, unplug and let the wonder of physics take over.

    Do not ignore the film of ice in the refrigerator for months and months until one day you open it and there's a MOTHERFREAKING GLACIER with weird deformed foodstuffs sticking out of its frosty face in there.

    I swear if I defrost that thing sea levels will rise by several feet.

    *Or give it away -- whatever.