Monday, October 25, 2004

Hellcapades

  • Figure skater Michael Weiss this weekend did a routine that incorporated Metallica's "Unforgiven" and Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven." My soul hurts.

  • So, there was indeed something wrong with my truck. The radiator thermostat needed to be replaced. That fact became painfully clear Saturday night when I noticed a stream of radiator fluid shooting up 2.5 feet from the spillover reservoir.
    I was sitting there in a supermarket parking lot with the hood up (a.k.a., "bonnet"), and it was spurting onto the car next to mine and I thought: "Yeah, this is definitely something I can't continue to ignore."
    On Sunday, my brother and I put in the new thermostat and flushed the radiator while we were at it. That would be about $140 of work at a shop; because we did it ourselves it cost $31 -- $5 for the thermostat, $4 for the gasket, $8 for the radiator fluid, and $24 for beers afterward.
    While we were at the bar, an incredibly attractive waitress recognized my brother from somewhere and sat down to talk to him -- interrupting some story he was telling me about writing an estimate (Jon is the guy you talk to when you need auto body work).
    This sort of thing happens to my brother a lot. He's rather athletic and got all the attractive genes my parents could muster, plus he's genuinely cool. One trait of cool people is that they don't fall over themselves to talk to you. If you were to meet me in a pub or bar, my face would light up and I would get really bouncy and I would want to talk to you until you were so exhausted you could no longer hold your head upright. I am a stupid little monkey who desperately craves your attention the way Courtney Love craves smack. Actually, more than that. If Courtney Love and Scott Weiland had a child, the way that kid would love the heroin is the way I love attention.
    But not my brother.
    This girl was touching his arm -- sort of feeling his bicep -- as she talked to him. He shook her off with a very pleasant but cool, "Well, it was nice to see you again."
    "Where do you know her from?" I said once she left.
    "She says we went to high school together. Beats me who she is. Anyway, I wrote this estimate for $700..."

  • Unfortunate, yet terribly appropriate.

  • It would appear the military has grown tired of dealing with environmentalists.
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