Friday, October 22, 2004

Melville = evil

  • Esther's synopsis of Herman Melville's "Moby Dick."
    This is a far better synopsis than the one I gave in a10th-grade book report. Of course, in that case I hadn't actually read the book yet.
    Despite that fact, I earned an "A." That was the day I learned that style outweighs substance. I used my top-notch comedy skillz to denounce the book in evangelistic stylee, and no one seemed to notice that I never actually said anything about the book. My orating was so thunderous that it attracted the class from next door; I can still see poor Carrie O'Brien pressing her hands to her ears as if she were in one of those Duck and Cover films.

  • Jenny deleted her blog a few days ago, but misses blogging. Blogless Jenny says: "Today I saw a pigeon eating fried chicken. The weirdest part is that it really seemed to be enjoying it.*"

  • I've been clicking to Meaghan's blog all day, waiting to see her response to the Yankees' historic loss Wednesday. Nothing yet.

  • "On display"?!! Like those fake deserts at restaurants?

  • W'hey Harry! Clearly Harry is the most in touch with the average British male. That said, since he's all the way down there as third in line for the throne, I hereby propose that he be adopted as King of Minnesota; we'd love to have him.

  • And no matter how wild Harry got, I doubt he could match the incredibly disturbing nature of South Carolina's Libertarian candidate for Senate (see quote 3rd graf from the bottom).

  • Tough on stains, easy on terrorists.

  • What the world needs now are more violent religious idealists! Hooray kick-butt missionaries!

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's not rush things.

  • Gee, by looking at him, you'd certainly never guess that Bernie would be sexually disturbed, would you?

  • Considering that the sprawling headquarters of my benevolent employer are located beneath a flight path, this story makes me nervous.
    Key quote: "The engine is described as being the size of a Honda Civic."

  • Note to lovelorn teens: Don't pick a fight with a guy who's good at throwing knives. Or, at the very least, don't give him your knife.

  • Note self: Move to Europe. Buy phone.

  • Darn you! Darn you, dirty pumpkin thieves! Darn you all to heck!

  • Congratulations Alabama!!

  • You know who's to blame for this, don't you? All those rat lovers. And Bill Clinton.

    *Insofar as pigeons can seem like anything but stupid, glassy-eyed flying rats. Bastards.
  • 1 comment:

    Jenny said...

    Dear Jim,

    Please can you fix it for me to appear in Chris Cope's fantastico blogspot - WAIT A GOD-DARN MINUTE!