BOOK UPDATE: I got quite a lot of work done last weekend and then again on Wednesday. As I'm writing this last part, I'm trying to tie things up. Occasionally I will have to back up and delete huge sections because they are heavy-handed, as if I'm sitting there saying to the reader: "Eh? See what I did there? Pretty witty, huh?"
Guaranteed, if I try to be smart it will turn out to be a painful experience. Remember the rich girl at church/school whose parents appeared blind to her total lack of talent? Remember how much it hurt when she would get up and belt out a tune? That's what it's like when I try to be smart. People sit there and cringe and think to themselves: "Oh, man. Does he just not know how stupid he is? I feel shame for him."
I am usually pretty hard on myself, and hope that I am being self-critical enough to make this book good. Usually after writing something, I have to spend 45 minutes walking in circles on my creaking hardwood floors, worrying that no one will like it.
John Cleese has set up a website and expects you to pay $50 for it (you get a silly name for free though). It's an interesting idea, I suppose. I wonder how much people would pay to read my columns. Honestly, I'd be surprised if people would pay as much as $5 annually. I'd also be surprised if the people paying this fee were people other than my relatives.
Ooh, "best-ever." Can't really argue with that, can you?
I would like to propose that from now on, instead of "secretary of state," refer to Condoleezza Rice as our "State Department diva."
You know, I'd like to kill something. But I really don't want to leave the house. Wait a second, this is just the sort of thing I'm looking for!
(And of course it's based in Texas)