I had to make my way to the headquarters of my benevolent employer a little earlier than usual this morning. St. Paul, Minn., is quite possibly the most peaceful place in the world at 7:30 a.m. The sky was a cold blue-grey; bright yellow, blue, red and orange in the horizon seemed to make the ground feel warm, as if the earth were flat and the sun was coming out from underneath. I think St. Paul is one of the prettiest cities on the planet, but I tend not to say much about it because I don't want people coming and pricing me out of living here.
The vast majority of Midwestern women are gorgeous, of course -- Jack Kerouac pointed that out years ago -- but they look thoroughly unamused in the early morn. Buying my morning muffins this morning, I found myself standing next to a pack of college girls. They were wearing "popular girl" clothing, and their butts were about as wide as my thigh, but with the morning hanging over them they had a certain hard-edged quality; as if they had been up all night drinking Jack Daniels. When one of them opened her wee pink vinyl girlie purse, I expected to see a pack of Marlboro Light 100s and a broken Rolling Rock bottle. She pulled out a red vinyl wallet, inside of which was an ID card for the St. Paul Jewish Community Center.
I'm thinking of starting a blog called "Informing The Nation" that would serve as a sort of clearinghouse for all the boneheaded mistakes I see in news copy each day. Example: "The couple called the fire department from their apartment in the 1400 block of Bonair Road in Vista Wednesday morning at about 9:30 a.m. yesterday."
I'm not likely to do that anytime soon, though; I've got my blogging hands full. I've got the piece of crap you're reading now, this piece of crap you can't read, and this week I'm turning Cheeky Squirrel's blog into crap -- I am guest blogging while he's in Poland.
Harry's left Portsmouth. Heartbreaker.
Latest weapon of terror: cell phones.
And if the cell phones don't kill you, the shrimp will.
For the love of Pete, if you allow the Indians into Boston all hell will break loose.