Wednesday, November 3, 2004

The Dan Rather fortune cookie

According to my co-worker, who apparently sat around taking notes, here's a list of odd things CBS news anchor Dan Rather said during Election Night coverage:

7:51 p.m. - "One's reminded of that old saying, 'Don't taunt the alligator until after you've crossed the creek.'"

8:36 p.m. - "What Kerry needs is the equivalent of Tom Brady coming off the bench and bringing him from behind in the race."

8:39 p.m. - "The presidential race (is) swinging like Count Basie."

11:44 p.m. - "No question now that Kerry's rapidly reaching the point where he's got his back to the wall, his shirttail's on fire and the bill collector's at the door."

11:52 p.m. - "John Kerry needs something on the order of a 55- or 60-yard field goal to win this."

12:10 a.m. - "John Kerry's in the position of, if you want to use the metaphor, he's got to draw to an inside straight. But hey, sometimes you get the right card and you hit that straight."

12:11 a.m. - "Vice President Dick Cheney would not have flown all the way out there (Hawaii) overnight and put that lei around his neck and sort of hula-danced, if you will, unless he thought there was a chance of carrying that out there."

12:14 a.m. - (To Joe Lockhart) "I know that you'd rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit than consider the possibility that John Kerry would lose Ohio."

12:15 a.m. - (Also to Joe Lockhart) "What about Michigan? It's been out there for a long time. Is that making your fingernails sweat?"

12:37 a.m. - "This presidential race has been crackling like a hickory fire for at least the last hour and a half."

12:37 a.m. - "No one is saying that George Bush is not going to win the election, and if you had to bet the double-wide, you'd have to bet that he'd win."

12:37 a.m. - "We keep talking about Ohio if you've been tuning in and out or you put the baby to bed or you went to pop the cap on an adult, or otherwise, beverage..."

12:42 a.m. - "John Kerry has a... his lead is as thin as turnip soup."

12:45 a.m. - "If a frog had sidepockets, he'd carry a handgun."

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