Ol' Dirty Bastard died this weekend. How can you not love a guy with half a dozen aliases, including "Big Baby Jesus?"
He once stormed the stage at an awards ceremony and complained that he had spent a lot of money buying clothes because he thought he was going to win an award. When he and the rest of Wu-Tang Clan were on the Tim Westwood show, ODB announced his hotel room number and invited all the women of Britain to come join him. I once saw an MTV special when he took a limo to pick up his welfare check. Brilliant.
Why are Daniel Beddingfield and Natasha Beddingfield not sitting next to each other?
The reason this guy will lose his case can be found in this sentence: "Cyl said he doesn't expect his wife to come back to the basement apartment at his mother's home."
Dear Minnesota Vikings: You hurt my heart. I do not understand how the absence of a single wide receiver results in your inability to win games. How does the absence of an offensive player translate into a defense that can't stop the same predictable play (U-71 I-formation) from being run again and again?
Irony: The Nebraska coach calls Oklahomans "hillbillies."
Mental note: I have eight years*.
This week's bit of Harrison Beck genius: "I have never had a better time than when I run onto the field with my best buddies and strap it on and play some football."
Strap it on? What kind of football are they playing in Florida?
Sweeps is still taking place, and local news stations all across America are still putting out top-quality journalism.
Of course, despite the quality journalism being offered, it's extremely important that news organizations keep in mind what's really important to Americans -- "CSI: New York."
People have often accused Tony Blair of wanting to be an American president. We are in the process of making that possible.
When I think of heavyweight celebrity endorsement, I think Rue McClanahan.
So, wait. What's the problem here?
One wonders about a pill that claims to do so much. I'm sure a few years down the road we'll learn that it also causes you to grow an extra set of genitals.
Well, there goes my brilliant idea to rebuild the U.S. economy with elaborate show trials.
*I have promised myself that I will live in Britain before 2012.