Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Dirt McGirt we hardly knew ye

  • Ol' Dirty Bastard died this weekend. How can you not love a guy with half a dozen aliases, including "Big Baby Jesus?"
    He once stormed the stage at an awards ceremony and complained that he had spent a lot of money buying clothes because he thought he was going to win an award. When he and the rest of Wu-Tang Clan were on the Tim Westwood show, ODB announced his hotel room number and invited all the women of Britain to come join him. I once saw an MTV special when he took a limo to pick up his welfare check. Brilliant.

  • Why are Daniel Beddingfield and Natasha Beddingfield not sitting next to each other?

  • The reason this guy will lose his case can be found in this sentence: "Cyl said he doesn't expect his wife to come back to the basement apartment at his mother's home."

  • Dear Minnesota Vikings: You hurt my heart. I do not understand how the absence of a single wide receiver results in your inability to win games. How does the absence of an offensive player translate into a defense that can't stop the same predictable play (U-71 I-formation) from being run again and again?

  • Irony: The Nebraska coach calls Oklahomans "hillbillies."

  • Mental note: I have eight years*.

  • This week's bit of Harrison Beck genius: "I have never had a better time than when I run onto the field with my best buddies and strap it on and play some football."
    Strap it on? What kind of football are they playing in Florida?

  • Sweeps is still taking place, and local news stations all across America are still putting out top-quality journalism.

  • Of course, despite the quality journalism being offered, it's extremely important that news organizations keep in mind what's really important to Americans -- "CSI: New York."

  • People have often accused Tony Blair of wanting to be an American president. We are in the process of making that possible.

  • When I think of heavyweight celebrity endorsement, I think Rue McClanahan.

  • So, wait. What's the problem here?

  • One wonders about a pill that claims to do so much. I'm sure a few years down the road we'll learn that it also causes you to grow an extra set of genitals.

  • Well, there goes my brilliant idea to rebuild the U.S. economy with elaborate show trials.

    *I have promised myself that I will live in Britain before 2012.
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