Of course I am a Top Husband©, so for Valentine's Day I gave my wife a gratuitously large and expensive box of chocolate-type things. But if I hadn't, I would have a good excuse.
My editor, Adam (who is a huge UT fan, by the way), sent me a story today about a divorce kit for men that encourages would-be divorcees to throw their wives off the trail by being incredibly nice to them.
"The only way to get out this is if I make her believe that I love her," says a man on the five-CD divorce package.
Evil? You bet. But the upside is that I no longer need to buy gifts for my wife. If she complains that I don't ever bring her flowers, I can simply point out that it means I'm not planning a divorce.
The American Consumer Satisfaction Index for Q4 2004 was released today. It's a measure of how Americans feel about the quality of the corporate machine we are giving our souls to. Overall, it appears our satisfaction has dropped, which means that we can expect loads of commercials cheekily identifying exactly what is wrong with the consumer experience. The spin here in the Global Media Conspiracy is that it could be an indicator of a weakening economy. As we all know, Bill Clinton is to blame for that -- he's to blame for everything. It was a given that he'd get the job as U.N. point man for tsunami relief; he caused the damn thing in the first place through his infidelity and socialist leanings. God hates that man and the rest of us have to suffer The Lord Our God's wrath as a bi-product.
Anyway, here's a look how specific services performed.
North Dakota has the highest binge drinking rate in the country. Having lived there, this makes perfect sense to me.
Although, I'll bet Wisconsin comes in pretty high on that binge drinking list (and check out the talent at the upper right of the page -- it looks like the cast of a porn film).
Good name for a band: sex potato.
This post from Crystal made me laugh until I had to pee.