Thursday, February 3, 2005

Livin'

  • Wisconsin's new tourism slogan is "Life's So Good." What?
    Is Wisconsin such a crap state that they have decided to simply make blanket statements that don't actually have anything to do with Wisconsin? Sun Shines During Day. Shoes Go On Feet. Fire Bad.
    Indeed, life is good -- far better than death. You put livin' and dyin' in a fair race and livin' always comes out ahead.
    Perhaps they mean Life the cereal. It is so good. Especially Cinnamon Life. Mikey likes it. Perhaps he would like Wisconsin, too.
    Or The Game of Life by Hasbro. It's better than Monopoly and not as infuriating as Clue.
    Or, it could be a slogan promoting the fact that Wisconsin does not have the death penalty. "If you're planning on doing any raping and killing, do it in Wisconsin. Life's so good."

  • Beth appears to have a feature called "White Trash Wednesdays." But how white trash is it to put things off for a day? For lunch today I walked down to SuperAmerica -- wearing a sweater I've owned for 14 years -- and bought two Polish hot dogs, a bag of Old Dutch potato chips and a 22-ounce (the smallest size) Cherry Coke... and a PowerBall ticket. Sweet. The Texas roots were showin' today, boy. If I had really been thinkin' I would have bought a pack of Marlboro Light 100s and replaced the Cheery Coke with a 40 of malt liquor.

  • Good name for a band: Basket Full Of Butterflies

  • Ugh. Stop it with the Doves. It's like the Cure, it's like Morrissey, it's like Morrissey and the Cure. I can't think of a way to make a band worse.

  • "Over-sell" is a term from pro wrestling slang that means a wrestler is trying too hard, thus making a fool of himself. I'm inclined to believe that the Coast Guard is over-selling its attempts to protect us from The Terrorists®. Honestly. Underwater terrorist demolition teams? Yeesh.

  • Weapon of choice: bird feeder.

  • As a resident of St. Paul, I would like my city to secede. Preferably to someplace good -- not just a neighboring state, or Canada. I wonder if Ireland would be interested in a colony? Spain?
  • 6 comments:

    noisy ghost said...

    So what are you trying to say about the Doves? That they're like the Cure, or maybe Morrissey.

    noisy ghost said...

    Urf! That's supposed to end with a question mark above. Like:

    So what are you trying to say about the Doves? That they're like the Cure, or maybe Morrisey?????

    See how funny that is? Do you see? Damn punctuation gremlins!

    Anonymous said...

    Oklahoma City's minor league baseball team, the Redhawks, chose this as their slogan a couple seasons ago:

    The Sport Of Having Fun.

    kari said...

    cliff huxtable's dad, russell, came to visit the theatre department at minot state university a few years back. but i couldn't make it, so i can't relay any of the event back to you. but there's my not-really brush with fame.

    Beth said...

    If I had really been thinkin' I would have bought a pack of Marlboro Light 100sReading this as a Marlboro Light dangles out of my mouth...oops! hahahaha
    And Cherry Coke is definitely elitist (not to mention NASTY!). I think you're safe.

    Beth said...

    "Preview" IS MY FRIEND. Damn.