I'm thinking this post should have been broken into multiple separate posts. Ah well...
It looks as if Jenny and I will now need to set up outside Windsor Guildhall. I still think it will be too cool for Pimms. Perhaps, in honor of Charles, we can drink cherry brandy.
Last night on One Music with Ras Kwame, his guest was top poet bloke Dr. Benjamin Zephaniah (probably best known for the poem "Wrong Radio Station"*), who reinforced my longstanding belief that poets need to stop trying to put their works to a beat. But he did offer an interesting explanation of the difference between a poet and a lyricist (i.e., apart from the fact that he calls himself as such, what makes Zephaniah a poet and not, say, Bruce Springsteen?).
He used the example of the lyrics to "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz: "I wish that I could fly/ Into the sky/ So very high/ Just like a dragonfly."
The lyrics are pretty, he said, but not as precise as a poem would necessitate. A poet, he said, would listen to that and think: "A dragonfly doesn't fly all that high."
I have nothing to add to that. I just thought it was interesting. Having now mentioned a poet on my blog I am overcome by the desire to balance it out with a fart joke.
I'm generally slow to notice things, so you may have already seen that there's a date for the release of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- April 29. I saw a trailer for it today and have to admit being somewhat concerned about the fact that Zaphod appears to only have one head. And everyone but Arthur appears to have an American accent. What's wrong with making a movie adhere to the book? Why is that so wrong?
I will not rest until Peter Jackson offers a sweeping vision of Encyclopedia Brown.
Another thing I hadn't noticed until recently is that Major League Soccer appears to have undergone a few changes since I last bothered to pay attention.
For one thing, Guadalajara's Chivas club has some sort of an MLS expansion team that plays in Southern California. This makes no sense to me, but it's interesting to note that there are now two MLS teams in the Los Angeles area and no NFL teams.
Dallas has dropped its utterly lame name, The Burn, for the more European-sounding "FC Dallas."
Salt Lake City has a team now. It, too, has attempted to go all Euro-stylee in its name, but with less success. Soccer in Utah is a very interesting venture. The old-guard Mormons like, well, all of my in-laws, probably wouldn't watch it if you gave them free tickets.
Cripes. Can you believe the league is now 10 years old? According to a press release, the league is hoping to add two more teams for the 2006 season. "Conversations continue with several communities, including but not limited to Seattle, Cleveland, San Antonio, Houston, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Portland, Phoenix and Minneapolis."
Columbus still has the best logo.
There's an old man who likes to walk around my neighborhood in the mornings carrying a shillelagh. I have nothing more to say about that.
My coworkers and I have added another phrase to our lexicon: Backdoor Santa. It sounds like some sort of incredibly rude sex act.
Add this to what we previously came up with (fourth item down), and we were able to come up with this: "I thought he was a blue snack...until he gave me a backdoor Santa in my Diane Feinstein."
As always, I remain your primary source for news about bathtub cheese.
*"I've been dancing to music that I can't stand.
I've been reciting commercials to my girlfriends.
I've been trying to convince myself that what I really need is a sun bed and a mortgage and some hairspray, the kind of hairspray that will wash my grey blues away.
I've been trying to convince myself that I could ease my conscience if I gave a few pence, or a few cents to a starving baby in Africa, because African babies need my favours, because Africa is full of dictators, and, oh, yeah, globalisation will bring salvation.
I've been listening to the wrong radio station."