Friday, March 25, 2005

Chops, the maraca man with gravy in his pants

  • Usually, when there's some ridiculous and overblown political issue flooding the news cycle, the one question I find myself asking is: "Golly, what does roid-freak and erstwhile WWF wrestler Ultimate Warrior have to say about this?" Wonder no more*.

  • This is my employee photoFor some reason my benevolent employer requires that each of us have our picture taken so that it can be placed on The Mighty Internet for all our fellow peons to view. Of course, in adherence to the Driver's License Photo Act of 1982, all of these pictures have to look like poo. I'm thoroughly upset that my Welsh flag isn't more prominent.
    That's not to say that other pictures of me are any better. Crystal describes my profile picture as Chops the maraca man. I'm not sure how a pint of Guinness looks like maracas.

  • Well, duh.

  • Dude. That's a big catfish.

    *The beauty of this is that it's 2,605 words long and completely unintelligible.

    Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

    How handsome you look! But I still prefer your photo from last year.

    Cyn said...

    Nice smile.

    It really is.

    James said...

    Warrior's message only appears unintelligible because he's written it in code. If you translate a portion of it into haX0r, it's perfectly clear, to wit:

    "my sympatheiz g oout to teh scchiavos TEhY REALLY DO!!!!!!!!!11 OLOLOL but 0ur fou|\|ding diCuments rn’t th3ir daoghtar’s alone!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ I wil7 haX0r tejy aRe mine!!!!!!!1~~~ come 2 my ftp!!!!!~~~~ trehy r urz. YOU R AME!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~ "

    et hoc genus omne

    Old Horsetail Snake said...

    This picture doesn't show your tongue stud. Intentional oversight?

    Old Horsetail Snake said...

    Wa woods anyain spick Welsh? This is from a Scottish translator someone showed me. Also has Jolly Good English, etc., at In case you care.

    James said...

    Thanks, Hoss! Those translators save me a lot of time when I email instructions to people at work. We have such a diverse population, and I prefer the directions to be understood by all.

    "tae begin upgradin' yer softwaur, click th' button oan th' image belaw. yer client will automatically download an' rin th' upgrade. efter th' new code has bin applied tae yer installation, yer softwaur will relaunch, ye buggers."

    That's damn good customer service, to my mind. I should get an award, I should.

    OldHorsetailSnake said...

    My third comment on a single post. Must be a record. Just wanted you to know I posted today, for better or verse. Hoss.

    Chris Cope said...

    And I think seven comments (now eight) has to be a record for any post I've ever had.

    James said...

    Oh, pppffft! You knew, you cold-bloodedly knew, that a combo Ultimate Warrior/big catfish post would spark controversy!