Usually, when there's some ridiculous and overblown political issue flooding the news cycle, the one question I find myself asking is: "Golly, what does roid-freak and erstwhile WWF wrestler Ultimate Warrior have to say about this?" Wonder no more*.
For some reason my benevolent employer requires that each of us have our picture taken so that it can be placed on The Mighty Internet for all our fellow peons to view. Of course, in adherence to the Driver's License Photo Act of 1982, all of these pictures have to look like poo. I'm thoroughly upset that my Welsh flag isn't more prominent.
That's not to say that other pictures of me are any better. Crystal describes my profile picture as Chops the maraca man. I'm not sure how a pint of Guinness looks like maracas.
Dude. That's a big catfish.
*The beauty of this is that it's 2,605 words long and completely unintelligible.