Tuesday, June 21, 2005

100 Things: 1-5

1) I type with three fingers. My right index finger is used to type every letter except for "A," "S", "W" and the Shift key -- those latter four tasks are relegated to my left index finger. I use my right thumb to hit the space bar.
Regardless of my convoluted typing style, I can type with a good deal of speed. The end result is that watching me type is like some sort of office party trick. The television station I worked at in San Diego offered regular tours through the building and I was one of the stops on the tour. No, really. The woman who led the tours always stopped to draw attention to my typing.
I was most popular with soccer mom types. My theory is that I made them feel better about their children: "If this idiot who can't type can find secure employment in a TV Station, surely my ADHD child will grow up alright."

2) Singing "Land of Hope and Glory" gets me teary-eyed.

3) For reasons that are still unknown to me, when I was in high school I was terrified of admitting the necessity of a bodily function when on a date. Belching, farting, urinating, pooping -- I refused to admit that any of that happened to me.
To get around this, I made sure that the doorframe of whichever car I was driving was dirty. I would run my hand along said doorframe as I was getting out of the car and then say, "Oh, man. I got grease on my hands. I'm gonna run to the restroom to wash them."
I would hold my hands up as I said this, as if to say: "See? My hands are dirty. I'm not trying to cover up how badly I have to pee. I'm just going to wash my hands, and that's it. Nothing else. Because I never pee or poop."
The residual effect of this behavior is that I am still acutely aware of how long certain activities take.

4) I do not remember the name of the first girl I kissed. I get around this by telling myself that I was not, in fact, kissing her -- I was swapping gum for a very long time.

5) When I was a boy, for about a month, I played with Barbie dolls solely because it annoyed the hell out my dad. My mother encouraged this behavior because she thought it would instill a greater respect toward females. If anything, Barbie instilled an unrealistic expectation of what a woman should be and encouraged me to think of women as playthings.

1 comment:

Dave Morris said...

Interesting, I have a friend that types the same way. (now I have TWO friends like that) He FLIES! I am a home-row guy, I guess from school.

I only played with Barbies because the neighbor girl did - and only to have an excuse to sit closer to her. Ah, 35 was a good age!