Thursday, June 16, 2005

What more do you want?

There is an old story about a pastor whose house is slowly being consumed by floodwaters. As he's sitting there on the porch, his ankles getting wet, a group of guys come by in a boat.

"Reverend, you better hop in this boat," one of the men shouts. "We gotta get you out of here."

"No, that's alright, son. I have faith in the protection of the Lord. He will watch out for me," says the pastor.

And on and on and on this story goes, with the pastor moving to higher and higher ground until he is perched precariously on his chimney and there is a helicopter overhead.

"Reverend, you better climb on up this ladder," a man shouts over the loudspeaker. "We gotta get you out of here."

"No, that's alright, son. I have faith in the protection of the Lord. He will watch out for me," says the pastor.

The pastor drowns, of course.

When he gets his chance to talk to God, the first thing he asks about is his demise.

"I always kept the faith. I followed and taught with such dedication. Why didn't You save me?" he asks.

"I sent three boats and a helicopter. What more do you want?" asks God.

Anyway, I got to thinking about this story because the chain on my bike broke last night. Add this to the fact that my wife and I were reduced to a one-car family last year, and that my benevolent employer isn't keen on offering enough recompense that I could buy a new car, and that I also suffered this week a broken bike seat and fearful weather, and I am being led to believe that the Creator of the Universe doesn't really want me to go to work.

Where's the Republican legislation for that, eh? Who cares about gay marriages when I'm the one defying God's Will each day simply by showing up for work!!! This is how plagues get started, people! Clearly, there is a need to funnel money into my bank account. This is an issue of national security!
At the very least, I would like Congress to cover the cost of a new chain for my bike.

1 comment:

Charlotte said...

I like that... the next time I have car troubles, I am going to call it and explain that it is clearly God's will that I stay home from work. As I work for the Salvation Army, they should accept that excuse. Or at least offer to come pick me up...