Monday, July 4, 2005

The importance of being Chris

I had a dream last night that Oscar Wilde kept hitting on me. I was very polite in my rejection because who wouldn't want to have Oscar Wilde as a pal? He kept imploring me to "imagine the possibilities."


Linus said...

I always go for it in dreams. I mean, you never know, Oscar Wilde could be just the person you need to calm the raging torrent of Chris in your life. When you're lying on your urine soaked deathbed 4-5 weeks from now, you'll wish you'd had a dream fling with a noted author.

James said...

Well, Linus' compelling prediction nearly makes me rather regret not succumbing to Anthony Michael Hall's pleas several years ago. I was chauffeuring him through the English countryside in a bright yellow, early-model Volkswagen Beetle. He kept carrying on about needing some assistance, and he refused to elaborate on precisely what sort of assistance he required. Since I was unable to determine the issue in the mirror, I pulled off to the side of the road, turned in my seat, and beheld his engorgement.

He asked, "Won't you please help me?", and then simpered in a most vile, unctuous manner.

"I most certainly shall not!" I roared and proceeded to drive him to his destination, because I, at least, was a professional.

Cymreig said...

I had Graham Norton try it on when I was working the door at a gay bar in Cardiff.
Turned him down politely of course.