Friday, August 26, 2005

I am disappointed in all of you who will have to Google Bettie Page

  • Holy smokes, Thursday's post was huge -- 2,600 words. Extra points to you if you read it.

  • When I die (which hopefully will not happen for many decades), do not hold a candlelight vigil for me. Do not wear ribbons with my favorite color. Do not print up T-shirts with my face on them. Do not honor me with teddy bears. Do not try to convince yourself that the lyrics of a popular song fit my situation. Do not do things and then vindicate them by saying that's what I would have wanted. Do not say that I am looking down on all of this and smiling -- I assure you, I am not. In heaven, Bettie Page is in her prime and I will be too busy having sex with her to pay attention to what the rest of you are doing.

  • Am I the only one who giggles uncontrollably every time popular radio plays Iron Maiden?

  • Some people are willing to pay upward of $400 to see the Rolling Stones perform. I wouldn't pay $400 to have them perform in my apartment. I might pay that much to have Van Morrison play my living room because he has a positive effect on my wife's libido.
    Who would you pay $400 (£222) to perform in your living room?

  • Do you ever play the mental game of asking how many modern U.S. soldiers it would take to defeat some army of the past? For example, do you think 200 Navy SEALS (with all their modern gear and skill) could defeat the whole of Napoleon's army? I'll bet they could, and quite possibly without suffering a single fatality amongst the SEALS.
    I am also convinced that just four modern machine guns would have kept the Dakota Territory in American Indian possession.

  • This video takes quite a long time to load, but it's worth it in a very strange way.

  • File this story under: What's Wrong With America.

  • I thought this list of things that show the mindset of new university students was interesting. Although, some of them don't make a damn bit of sense: "It has always been possible to walk from England to mainland Europe on dry land."

    Afe said...

    I reckon MacGyver armed with just a pocket knife could defeat Napoleon's army. Or at least build them something cool.

    Cheryl said...

    Love the video and the 'wrong' article.
    Thanks for that!

    Nic said...

    Who would you pay $400 (£222) to perform in your living room?

    You and Betty Page?

    Nic said...

    Actually, forget I said that...

    Van der Graaf Generator definately.

    Matthew said...

    Angels in heaven have sex? I guess paradise in the Islamic faith, according to some interpretations, features an abundance of virgins. That must be the reason the young Muslims are blowing themselves up to get in there.

    OldHorsetailSnake said...

    "Jimmy Carter has always been an elder statesman," according to the young students.

    Ooooo, how wrong. They need to Google "Playboy interview" and "lust."

    I got through all 2600 words by only reading every other word. Only took two days.

    Jenny said...

    How many extra points? I need to put them in my special chart.

    Dave Morris said...

    Okay, I admit I had to google Bettie Page.

    Those photos are very sexy, mostly because they haven't been "touched up." There is no perfect body, so when Playboy or Maxim publishes unblemished skin, I am actually turned off. It's far more sexy to see the real product.