Friday, August 12, 2005

Rachel-free again

  • My wife is out of town for the weekend. She's visiting St. George, Utah, for her 10-year high school reunion (Go Flyers!). She will probably be a standout among the breeding stock that is your average Southern Utah girl. That's cruel, I know. My God, the women are gorgeous there, but the majority of them have been brought up to be mothers and housewives*. As such, most of Rachel's friends will have gained weight, have children, and never finished college (because what's the point of going to college after you've found a husband?). Whereas my wife is the hottest of all hotties, with a master's degree and a husband who... oh, that's me... well, OK, she could have done better in picking a husband, but she wins on every other count.

  • Am I the only person who remembers Square One? I mentioned this show at work today and they just looked at me.

  • Clive Wolfendale is a very, very, very bad man.

  • One of the beauties of the Internet is that my columns never go away. So, from time to time I receive e-mails in response to columns that ere written several years ago. I received an e-mail today that said: "I read your article, and I would like to ask you, some men unbuckle their pants at the urinal, and some just unzip. Is unbuckling considered rude? I can not find an etiquette site that says so."
    How would you have answered this guy?

  • Usually when a school eliminates its American Indian mascot, it does so with a half-assed sense that strikes me as almost bitter: "Fine. You don't like the Redmen? From now on, we are the Red Storm -- a perfectly useless and shapeless mascot that is impossible to conceptualize."
    Therefore, I suggest University of North Dakota change its mascot from the "Fighting Sioux" to the "Fighting Sue." The mascot can be an angry visage of mystery writer Sue Grafton. "H" is for Hockey champions, bitches.

    *Housewives and mothers are good things, of course -- I'm pretty sure they're the core readership of my column -- but I'm not sure that any gender should be steered toward any specific occupation.

    Cheryl said...

    I hope she shines and doesnt feel like an outcast!
    The pro-homemaker brigade do tend to make pre-emptive strikes, by that I mean they are better at slagging off women who choose different - much more disdainful that your tactful post.

    OldHorsetailSnake said...

    You answer the gentleman thusly:

    "It is no longer an issue. Buckles went out with the Puritans."

    Anonymous said...

    Square One TV and Mathnet were a staple of my after-school TV watching for years. This explains much.

    Thanks for the shout-out in June. I've decided to stop *lurking.*

    Jenny said...

    I have the opposite problem amongst my peer group; I'd love to be a housewife and mother and am deeply scorned for saying so out loud.

    Pesky career.

    Dave Morris said...

    I find unbuckling only necessary when I need a re-tuck on my shirt. It's not rude, just takes a little more time.

    Just as fascinating is the different "shake" techniques. The Wobble-Wobble, the Whip, the Brisk Beat and the Whole Arm Jiggle. All can be identified from behind, so as not to violate the no-fly-zone.

    Afe said...

    Unbuckling is only rude when you proceed to whip other people on the arse with your belt while they are trying to pee.

    Curly said...

    I knew a guy once that unbuckled, then let his trousers fall around his ankles before urinating.

    The worst bit was when he had to pull them up again.

    Curly said...

    Chris, have you come across any reasons for all this blog-spam on the web at all?

    I didn't know that it existed until I saw it on your blog - I got 5 in the space of half an hour today!

    Chris Cope said...

    I have no idea what the deal is, Curly. I have written to Blogger support and have yet to receive a reply. I may need to find some sort of different commenting system.

    Lindsay Hansen said...

    I am embarrassed that I loved Square One as much as I did...especially Mathnet and Mathman. Sheesh, what a dorky show. Why isn't it on tv anymore?

    heatherfeather said...

    don't worry lindsay, i loved square one also - HUGE fan of mathnet, which is what taught me that addresses have even numbers on one side and odds on another.

    ah, square one...