Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Yeesh. You make out with one chicken...

  • I have avian flu. Or Ebola. Something awful. I'm trying to keep my health up by drinking plenty of fluids, but I still feel horrible. Have you ever been so sick that it feels like your eyeballs are sweating? That's how bad I feel.
    And the worst part is that the child bride has left me to suffer alone. She is spending the week in Tucson, Ariz. (city motto: "We can't place it on a map of Arizona, either.") for job training. Already the apartment is a mess.

  • On Monday at the headquarters of my benevolent employer, some random bloke wandered into the building and then spent an hour just sort of hanging out in the lobby staring at the computer monitors. No one questioned him because they thought he was waiting for someone. In fact, he was just some homeless guy who was whacked out on drugs. It says something about our company that a muttering guy with leaves on his jacket can sit in the lobby and no one will question him.

  • I have decided that "al-Qaida in Iraq" is a half-assed name for a terrorism group. It reminds me of "Spirit of Riverdance," which used to perform at the El Dorado Casino in Reno, Nev. They weren't really Riverdance, but a hastily put-together road version consisting of lower-grade talent.
    Al-Qaida in Iraq sounds like terrorism for the Branson, Mo., crowd; Al-Qaida Lite.

  • Apparently my blog is worth $17,500.74 (£9,814.73). How do I sell?
    (Link found via Omega)
  • 10 comments:

    Pirate said...

    I concur. Half ass terrorists can be pretty fuckin dangerous though.

    kari said...

    mine is worth only a mere two grand plus some change. but i'd still sell...

    heatherfeather said...

    chris. i know you miss your wife. but stop licking chickens.

    and evidently i don't pay much attention, because my neighbor thought i must not have been home because i didn't hear the crazy drunk lady pounding on the windows, yelling at the former tenants of the upstairs apartment, and being arrested by the police on sunday. i was totally home, just didn't notice.

    Curly said...

    Do you think that the child bride deliberately made you ill to stop you getting into trouble while she was gone?

    Chris Cope said...

    Heather: Maybe you don't remember because you were the crazy drunk lady.

    Curly: That is a brilliant conspiracy theory. You may be on to something there -- my wife is a health professional. Perhaps she brought home a little vial of avian flu and sprinkled it on my pillow.

    Crystal said...

    maybe the homeless man was really oprah winfrey in disguise waiting for someone to throw her out so that she could make a big deal and have everybody at your company kiss her ass on national television.

    OldHorsetailSnake said...

    Weather down in Tucson can be nice, now, until about April. Enjoy bouncing off the walls.

    heatherfeather said...

    ba-dum-chick

    Astrid said...

    Wow, $17,500.74 is a lot of money, but I think if you would sell your Blog its value would drop to $0 within no time, so please keep it, coz emotionally you and your always superb Blog mean way more to me than $17,500.74!!!

    Chris Cope said...

    Your emotional currency is always welcome here, Astrid.