1-5 ~ 6-10 ~ 11-15 ~ 16-20 ~ 21-25
26) Professionally, I am little more than expensive and unreliable spell-check software.
27) I wish I could develop a connoisseur's appreciation for whisky.
28) I wish I had the entire music catalogs of Elton John and Queen. Unfortunately (or, perhaps fortunately), pride will not allow me to even purchase a greatest hits CD. Similarly, I am ashamed to have paid good money for the greatest hits of Steely Dan.
29) I am even more ashamed that I identify with the lyrics to a Steely Dan song.
30) Sometimes I really do not understand why my wife likes me. I wonder if perhaps she does it as some sort of self-issued penance so she can get into heaven. Maybe she is like UltraMan. "UltraMan" was a 1960s show from Japan about a space alien bloke who could turn into a giant robot. When the space alien bloke first came to Earth, he accidentally landed on some random Japanese fellow. So, in a sort of apology to the universe for killing a perfectly innocent person, space alien bloke assumed the dead guy's identity and dedicated himself to doing good by occasionally turning into a giant robot and fending off the various monsters who seem so keen to attack Japan.