Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Borderline intellectual functioning

  • Yesterday and today, when I arrived at work I had to fight a mild bout of nausea. I can't decide whether this is a result of:
    A) Residual illness from last week.
    B) Carbon monoxide poisoning from my car.
    C) General disgust with starting a new working day.

  • Do you ever watch the Colbert Report? They are getting the wrong audiences for that show, because none of the people in the studio seem to get Colbert's jokes. Last night he did a long bit on Rocktober that I thought was hilarious, but the audience barely registered a response. I think the audience he has is left over from "Daily Show," but that crowd doesn't quite get him -- they want Jon Stewart and his transparent personal/political beliefs. I enjoy that, but I also enjoy the fact that Colbert never really breaks character: "George W. Bush: great president, or the greatest president?"

  • Dick, Nutt, Johnson, Cocks -- this story has all sorts of elements that make for a rockin' headline, but pretty much every news outlet wussed out. I personally would have preferred: "Hogs' Dick To Replace Johnson Against Cocks"

  • I have seen a number of stories today that suggested the holiday shopping season has already begun. Personally, I think retailers who are already blaring Christmas music should be dragged out into the street and shot. But this forward thinking has me already looking past Christmas to February. I've got Olympic fever baby, and the prescription is more cow bell (and salchow).

  • Toward the bottom of this story is a fact that I suppose I should not find surprising -- McDonalds had a manager with an IQ of 83. That falls under the psychiatric classification of "borderline intellectual functioning."
    Actually, I'm sure we can all think of managers we've had who have not met the lofty standard of an average IQ.

    kari said...

    his rocktober tribute was CLASSIC! yeah, they need a better audience. i'll go, damn it!

    Anonymous said...

    I had the chance last week to watch a McD's manager go absolutely apeshit crazy in the middle of a lunch rush. It was like heroin to me; yes, yes, your tears provide me sustenance.

    TotallyHappened said...

    More cowbell... hillarious. My husbnd just got the Christophen Walkin SNL DVD from Netflix and it had that on it. He wants me to use that on my students.

    Curly said...

    I heard that your IQ is temporarily lowered while you are at work in the Golden Arches.

    The same bloke also told me that the average speed of a mans ejaculation is 28mph though.

    Banksy said...

    They worked out an AVERAGE speed?

    I', tempted to say they had way too much time on their hands, but thier hands were clearly far too busy.

    Andraste said...

    Daily Show and Colbert: I wish both shows were on a little earlier. Some of us are absolutely done by 11 on a school night. Shit, I'm old. OOOOLLLLLDDDDD. I have to cue them up through Comcast on Demand if I want to watch.

    Have they worked out the average number of zits of a McD's manager?

    Dave Morris said...

    I've been watching Colbert, you're right on about the audience. His schtick about walking over to greet his guests is getting old... much like the show "Prison Break," it seems to be a one-episode gag.

    All in all, good stuff and a pretty good followup to Stewart, who is the f-ing mack daddy of political satire.

    OldHorsetailSnake said...

    "Hogs' Dick," etc. Great name for a straight bar?

    Goo said...

    I love the Colbert Report. Isn't the audience reaction artificial though? I mean as in laugh tracks? I thought all shows used those even if they have a so called "live" audience.