Tuesday, November 1, 2005

When 'If' Becomes 'When'

My latest column is out. Feel free to send it to all your friends and relatives.
Random phrase: "the hell-spawn giggle of 'Sesame Street's' Elmo."


Shawn D. Mickschl said...

Kids are A LOT of work. They do not understand limits even after teaching them 300 times. They are messy, loud, and sometimes very, very stinky.

I brought my daughter, Evelyn, to the redesigned "Chutes and Ladders" park in Bloomington, Minnesota. She loved climbing and running with the older kids that were there.

She got separated from the pack she was running with and could not find her way out of the labyrinth of netting that is this park.

She began to cry (a father can always pick out their child's cry.) Then she began to wail. Then she started screaming "Daddy! Daddy!"

I, with my hot pink cast on my broken right foot, began racing through the play area at the first crescendo from a cry to a wail.

I had her in my sights, but she had not yet spotted me. When Evelyn finally caught sight of me through the various ropes and nets, she began running as fast as her little two-year-old legs could take her.

She literally jumped into my arms from a platform that was above me, and clutched on with all her strength.

With her sobbing into my shoulder, I spoke softly into my daughter’s ear, "You're ok; Daddy's got you. You're ok."

I can't begin to describe the emotions I felt at that moment. I can say that now I truly feel like I am a daddy.

It is worth everything you must give and give up to change the "if" to "when"; and then change "when" to "am".


Chris Cope said...

So, what I'm getting out of this is that if I have a child, I will need to be sure to set him or her up for a few traumatic experiences in which I rush in at the last moment to save the day.

"Hey, Daddy saved you from the alligator!"
"We're at a zoo, Dad. The alligator is behind three-inch-thick plexiglass."
"Hush. Daddy saved your butt."

Crystal said...

nanny-nanny-boo-boo. i am still at the irresponsible NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS EVEN IF I AM THE LAST WOMAN ON EARTH stage. i am scared to death of kids - well, not the kids themselves, but their ability to manipulate you with screaming or asking the same question 1,000 times in a row until they break you down and you wind up giving them anything they want just so they SHUT THE HELL UP FOR 30 SECONDS AND LET ME PEE IN SILENCE. i even give into the dog when he stares at me for too long. maybe someday i will change. until then, nanny nanny booboo.

heatherfeather said...

well, if it helps, you tried to convince me you were my boyfriend this morning so i'd make you a sweater...

maybe you're still a bit farther than you realize! ;-)

Monica said...

Whahahahahahahhahaaa.. oh, sorry dude. Still laughing at the Brad Johnson bit. As a Redskins fan, I empathize deeply.

Chris Cope said...

Ah yes, Monica. We've shared a handful of shitty QBs over the years. Jeff George -- the master of the QB slide.

"Jeff, there's no one around you and you need to scramble for two yards to get a first down. What do you do?"

"Hit the deck."

Afe said...

I'm not even going to question why you were sitting in your car watching a small child playing.

Astrid said...

Printing it out right now, taking it along to work, Ill be back to let you know what me and my co-workers thought of it.

Astrid said...

Hiya Chris, somehow I can easily picture you with a cute little kid (yes, cute parents, make cute children), maybe WHEN the time is right you could hire me as a sitter IF you please?