Thursday, December 1, 2005

Cheesy ham wreath

The Minnesota Twins (baseball, kids -- it used to be our national obsession) have slightly different-looking uniforms for 2006. Because everyone knows that new uniforms make an athlete better. A bastard owner, a laughable payroll, a talentless roster that acts like teenage girls, and a crap home stadium are insignificant in the face of new uniforms. New uniforms make everything better.

  • Random work quote: "What you call a hack story, I call an exposé."

  • Good name for a band: Cheesy Ham Vishnu
    The band name would be a variation of what is sure to become a holiday favorite -- the cheesy ham wreath. Mmmm. Cheesy ham wreath.

  • Nothing, though, beats the Cinnaberger -- our all-time favorite recipe in my little cubicle squad. None of us have ever had the guts to try them, though. Perhaps this could be a new challenge for Huw -- make and consume a Cinnaberger.

  • Today is Jenny's birthday -- go wish her a happy one.

  • I forgot to mention that yesterday, in addition to being St. Andrew's Day, was the one-year anniversary of my finishing a first draft of my novel "Drinking Stories," the only novel -- that I'm aware of -- with its own official beer mat (made by Jenny).

  • If you enjoy stories about my being an ass, Sara has recounted the tale of when I went completely nuts in downtown Fargo. In my defense, I did not hurl a wrench at the windshield -- I flung a pair of pliers.
    I eventually remedied the stuck horn by ripping the rubber bit off the steering column. Sara then accused me of trying to kill her by flinging a pair of pliers at the window.

  • I'm old. There's this song they play on the radio by Sean Paul -- I have no idea what it's called because I can't understand a damn word. As best I can tell, this is how the chorus goes: "The world turnin', this tire burn, girl you know I'm gonna be bare. Buy up simple glazin', double glazin."

    Anonymous said...

    It's 'We Will Be Burnin'"- imagine that, a dance hall musician who likes weed. I think the stanza goes something like this:

    "Everyday, we be burnin' not concernin' what nobody wanna say;
    We be earnin' dollars turning cau we mind deh pon we pay;
    Some got gold and all dem diamonds, all we got is Mary J;
    Legalize it, time you recognize it."

    Thank you, I'll now burn in hell for having that song on MP3. Just one more thing to worry about.

    OldHorsetailSnake said...

    I am way behind on my reading/commenting. Just discovered your Road Rage. Fantastic!! Now, if you could just learn some swear words....

    Crystal said...

    are you spose to eat it or hang it on the door?

    Anonymous said...

    oops, so sorry, pliers. they did, however, hit the windshield at a good clip. but i don't think the glass even chipped so, you know, no harm no foul.

    cheesy ham wreath? good lord.

    Huw said...

    Consider me on the case. Are cinnamon rolls easy to come by?

    Chris Cope said...

    Hmm. This may be a task I'll have to handle on my own if you can't get cinnamon rolls. They should be in tins in the dairy section of Tesco, but I don't now remember if they are actually there.

    Huw said...

    I'll be in the States soon - maybe I could stock up.

    S said...

    I always wonder what the hell he sings about. I guess I am getting old as well.

    Astrid said...

    So Jenny had two noses on her last year's birthday, huh? Maybe she has four eyes this year? Do you reckon she is multiplying body-parts the older she is getting? I find that rather unusual, but very exciting at the same time!