Monday, January 16, 2006

Here's the game, fellas

"Hi, I'm Jerome Bettis. I've fumbled twice in my career, but, here, Indianapolis Colts, you take the ball from me and run it halfway across the field. There you go, the game is yours. You're welcome. What? Oh, I see. You still don't want to win? Are you sure? You're not even going to try? Well, if you insist on DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING after I've handed you the game, I guess there's nothing I can do."

I do not remember ever being so angry after a football game as I was yesterday. Despite some miserable officiating, the Colts lost and deserved to lose based on their play.

I had made the mistake of thinking they would win. If it had been the Vikings, I would have expected the best quarterback in the NFL to struggle to get first downs throughout the game. But for some stupid reason, I ignored the Colts' playoff history and thought Peyton Manning would coast through all this and win himself a Super Bowl.

I want back the four hours of my life spent watching you suck, Manning. Give me back my Sunday.

I'm happy Grizzly Jake Plummer and the Broncos were able to defeat New England -- the genital warts of the NFL -- but I'm going to try not to watch next week's game. I may try to give up on the NFL for the sake of my health.

8 comments:

Curly said...

Clutz.

Omega said...

I thought Michael Vick was the gential warts of the NFl.

heatherfeather said...

i felt so badly yesterday when they showed the MOST ACCURATE PLACE KICKER IN THE HISTORY OF THE NFL after he missed the 46 yd field goal. first when he ripped off his helmet and his face was so red (before they were penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct), and then when they showed him on the sidelines and he was about to cry.

i don't think people are allowed to say that is the easiest position in football - because it's one of the highest pressure positions... poor guy with the european last name i can't remember other than it ended with -jagt.

Chris Cope said...

Vanderjagt. Don't feel too bad for him, as Peyton Manning once said, "He's a good kicker, but he's an idiot."

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Surely you can venture a cheer for the new kid on the block that has never been in a Super Bowl: Seattle.

Chris Cope said...

I'll support Seattle, sure -- especially since next week they are up against Carolina, who I don't think deserve to be an NFL team.

heatherfeather said...

even idiots can feel bad missing a goal that just bounced off... oh wait.

Crystal said...

i always feel sorry for the players who eff up majorly. but then i remember - they are getting paid millions of dollars to kick/throw/chase a ball around. i spose if i got paid millions of dollars, i would have to be pretty damn good at kicking/throwing/chasing a ball around. i mean, i would have to be SKILLED. i guess if i did something like fumble the ball, i'd pretty much give the million dollars back and go back to playing duck duck goose. just sayin'.