Monday, January 23, 2006

Your ass is mine, Ford

  • Ford Motor Co. expects to lay off upward of 25,000 people as part of a restructuring plan that it has named "The Way Forward." In 2001, I wrote and copyrighted a short story with that same title. I wonder if I can sue them for copyright infringement.
    My co-worker suggested that I sue for a car.
    "But not a Ford. They suck," he said.

  • St. Paul's Ford plant, at least, was spared in this round of layoffs.

  • I feel like I am missing something in my total lack of interest in playing poker. On Saturday I found myself sitting down to play a game of Texas Hold 'Em. I was playing with a group of guys who knew all sort of nonsense terminology for hands, like, "the river," so I accepted early on that I was going to lose. I debated coming up with my own bullshit terms -- "Oh, yeah, baby, I'm holdin' the Kuala Lumpur" -- but I worried it would be ill received. I have learned over the years that some guys completely lose their sense of humor when they are gambling. A fraternity brother once threw me into a wall when I jokingly drew myself an all-new hand whilst playing poker for beer.
    Even though I dramatically won my first hand, I was out of the game first -- having chosen to wager all my money on half-assed bluffs. Generally, if you are trying to run an effective bluff, you probably shouldn't announce: "I'm just trying to cash out so I can go in the other room and watch wrestling."
    So, I got a chance to watch an episode of Total Nonstop Action's "iMPACT!" (they write it that way). I am renaming it Total Male-Pattern Baldness Wrestling. Great googly moogly, was it ass.
    A few years ago, when the child bride and I went to a WWE house show, one of the things that mildly surprised me was how far off a number of the moves were. Some punches missed by more than a foot. On TV, it looks much closer -- the WWE has become pretty skilled in its use of editing and camera angles to make moves look more realistic. But TNA and its stock of wrestlers are still struggling with such intricacies. The only highlights came in seeing wrestlers I hadn't seen on TV in years. Most of the episode I found myself shouting, "Oh, dude! It's that guy. Whoa, that guy is still alive?

  • Good name for a band: Techno Wonderland

  • I love this toy, which allowed me to create this.
  • 1 comment:

    Curly said...

    You're not missing anything by not being remotely interested in playing poker - although it's immensely (word?) fun playing when you're not at all interested and everybody else is really getting into it.

    You're enlightened, that's all!