Wednesday, February 1, 2006

All out of bullets

  • The great Richard Longoria -- who would later call me a "chicken-shit son of a bitch" -- once told me that in the news business you have six bullets and there is a hill full of idiots coming down at you. So, it's important to be judicious in who you kill.
    The sage Terri Russell used to sum up the same advice by asking, "Do you really want to die on that hill?"
    Both are metaphors for choosing your battles, but I think Longoria's fits a workplace situation a little better. In a throng of idiots, you won't die. You can keep fighting, albeit ineffectively. So the bullets are your clout -- your ability to actually affect things.
    I have five months left in the service of my benevolent employer and everyone knows I'm on my way out. I'm all out of bullets and swinging wildly.

  • Today marked five years of service to my benevolent employer. I realized that fact as I was sitting in the break room feeling like warmed over poo. I may or may not be coming down with the Worst Cold Ever. It's hard to say. The cold has taken on a sort of brutal hit-and-run tactic but no full-scale attack has occurred. My body is the Afghanistan of cold battles.
    I felt awful my first day on the job for my benevolent employer, as well, but that was because I was severely hungover. The benevolent employer had flown me up to Minnesota from San Diego, for training. I made the best of this paid trip home by going out for drinks with my best friend, Eric. We drank until closing time and I was up and wobbling through training at 8 a.m. When everyone else went to lunch, I went back to my hotel to sleep.
    Interestingly, of the people with whom I trained, I am the only one still working for the company.

  • In this story, a fella is quoted as saying that he expects a London-to-Wrexham train journey would cost £25 return on average. The hell? I just checked the cost of the trip from London to Cardiff -- a shorter journey -- and the cheapest ticket I found was £47. I do not understand the British rail system.

  • Saddam Hussein was given a key to city of Detroit in 1980, an honor he now shares with Jerome Bettis.

  • I want a "Drink Like A Champion" T-shirt, just like Ben Roethlisberger.

  • Cripes, everything about AOL is stupid.
  • 4 comments:

    Shawn D. Mickschl said...

    Am I the only one who thinks Big Ben with a beard looks like Will Ferrell in the "more cowbell" routine?

    Dave Morris said...

    Shawn, you are right, there is a resemblance.

    Chris, keep swinging man. And feel better.

    Me Over Here said...

    Hey, 5 years and you're vested, right?

    I didn't even have my speakers plugged in for that AOL greeting card, and I still felt sick.

    Baby, baby, baby.
    Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
    Blerrrrrgh

    a. fortis said...

    Somehow that greeting carded ended up being both stupid AND disturbing--a dubious achievement.

    Hope you're feeling better.