Friday, March 3, 2006

All your pancake are belong to us

  • I should point out that the woman in Tuesday's post is not the child bride. The child bride is far more attractive. That's just some woman I drunkenly slept with -- I don't even know her name*.

  • I want this T-shirt.

  • In light of a conversation I had with a co-worker today, and Jericho's comment on a post from a few days ago, I'd like to remind you that you are always welcome and encouraged to comment in the style of a professional wrestler.

  • A girl came up to me today at lunch and said in conspiratorial tone: "So, I heard you're not really moving to Wales, that you are moving to L.A."
    "I hate L.A."
    "That's what I thought. I told Guy Who Always Wears A Baseball Cap that, but he insists that's where you're going."
    "Not to my knowledge. Maybe he knows something I don't."
    What an odd rumor to spread.

  • I suppose, though, I could stand moving to San Francisco.
    That's a lie. I wouldn't move to San Francisco; despite the fact that there is a Dylan Thomas-themed pub in the Mission District.

  • Man, it sucks when truth bites you in the ass. Stupid crappy truth. Always truthin'. Go away, truth. Leave us alone.

  • America has become a parody of some wacky America-like country.

  • Sometimes, in the process of my reading news stories all day, I want to send this note to people: "OK, turn off the computer and lie down."
    Sometimes people reach a point at which the best course of action is to just stop trying. This is an actual lede that was sent to me the other day. I sent it back and told the writer to correct the "glaring error" and he sent it back with the same error. See if you are smarter than one of the people from whom you get your news:
    "Ohio has a new millionaire after the winning Mega Million ticket, worth $267,000, was sold in Lyons, Ohio, which is near Toledo."

  • Made-up public information films. My favorite is the film that warns of pantomime dame attacks.

  • Heather today referenced one of my favorite shows of all time, "Night Court." I love me some "Night Court," my bitches. In the comments on Heather's blog, I neglected to mention my connection to Texas' own Reinhold Fielding Elmore (Dan Fielding's real name).
    In one episode, Harry explained that everyone has a little floodgate in their brain that keeps them from saying rude or offensive things. Dan, he said, had his floodgate surgically removed.
    My friend, Eric, once said he felt the same was true about me.

    *No, I'm kidding. It was the first picture I found when searching "Pancake Day." I found the picture on an Australian website dedicated to said day.

    heatherfeather said...

    night court, bitches! damn song is still in my head.

    mo** said...

    267,000 isn't a maga million?
    I don't know where Toledo is, and Lyons for me is the city in France where and aunt of mine lives, I spent a day there this summer- it was fun.

    OldHorsetailSnake said...

    Good eye Chris. It takes at least $300,000 to make a million.

    Dave Morris said...

    I always had the hots for one of the women on Night Court... can't remember which.

    It was also set in St. Louis - which is now known as "home of Dave's Blog!"

    Afe said...

    Actually that woman is Corinne Grant, a pretty well known Australian comedian, which is a strange thing to see on an American's blog.

    And yes, she is very good in bed. Her pancakes are sublime.

    Goo said...

    omg chris, i haven't been to your blog in so long, i had to invest the last half hour just to catch up on your shenanagans. i know i spelled that wrong but i have niether the energy left to look up the correct spelling nor comment on one single thing you said in the last gazillion posts.

    i will never let this happen again.

    Curly said...

    Perhaps you should start yet another blog, "Crap name for a band" - You've got that fine example of "This bike is a pipe bomb" to start.

    Sarah Stevenson said...

    The Examiner? The Examiner?? I've always been more of a Chronicle reader myself. Then again, I read the majority of our newspaper while using it as a clever place to hide cat toys for cat-taunting purposes.

    Wasn't Markie Post the one every guy had the hots for on Night Court? Or am I smoking crack?

    TotallyHappened said...

    That pipe-bomb bike story seriously made my day!