Celebrity harem

I've never been immensely interested in the Oscars, so I don't have much comment other than this: Whoa, man, that Salma Hayek cleans up nice. She is welcome to join my celebrity harem, along with Keira Knightley and Reese Witherspoon. Julia Roberts will be the harem's matron.

All of them will be required to wear volleyball outfits. The other day, a girl from a local college team was walking through the liquor store, still wearing her gear, and it was the first time I had ever seen those short shorts up close.
"Ya-pow!" I thought to myself. "I can't believe I didn't chase after the girls' volleyball team in high school.
"Oh, wait. I probably did."

The man who almost single-handedly won Game 6 of the 1991 World Series is in the hospital. (see entry above)

Hey, have another McNugget, little fatty.

Omega, I think it may be time to start packing your bags.

Garrison Keillor suggested this week that Bush be impeached.

I desperately need more time. I have decided that I need to quit work and find a patron, in the style of Harriet Shaw Weaver.