Thursday, March 9, 2006

Look! Look! I'm crazy

I'm always amused by these sorts of tests that allow you to prove to yourself that you are crazy. Of course, I've always reckoned that if you think you are crazy it's a clear sign that you are not.

Next time you are on a bus and you get stuck next to an absolute raving loon -- the bloke who is listening to radio via 1980s-style portable headset, hasn't bathed in a day or two, is talking to no one in particular, wears Coke-bottle glasses, and is wearing a color scheme that threatens to rip a hole in the space-time fabric --turn to that guy and say: "Hey there, fella. Would you agree with me that you are fucked in the head? I mean, from what I can see, you have no grasp of what's going on. You, sir, are crazy."

Inevitably, said nutjob will become belligerent and you'll regret having spoken to him. Because crazy people don't know that they are crazy; it's a part of being crazy. Logically then, people who think they are crazy clearly are not.

So, if you sit there and think, "I am crazy. And I think I shall take time out of my busy workday of subversively spreading socialism and pro-abortion propaganda to the masses to find an Internet quiz that will prove I am crazy," it's a clear sign that everything is OK.

You hear me? OK. I'm just fine, bitches. There's nothing wrong. I am not histrionic at all; certainly not 82-percent histrionic, so get off my back! Why are you so critical? Oh God, why won't you people love me????

Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||||||| 62%
Schizoid |||||||||||||| 54%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 58%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||||| 74%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 62%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Narcissistic |||| 18%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 42%
Dependent |||||||||| 38%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by

And if that lying Kari tries to tell you that I stole this from her site, don't believe a word of it. I meant to post this, like, last year but I hadn't gotten around to it and Kari totally stole the idea from me because she is jealous of how pretty I am and she just wants to take you away from me. But you won't let her do that, will you? You'll never leave me, right? Hold me.


Anonymous said...

Rich, don't sell yourself short because in my mind, and in the mind of all these Jerichoholics, you are crazy. I've fought the likes of Hoot-n-toot Guerrero and even had a few run ins with Vance McMahaon, but you sir take the cake, Jerky! Afterall, who else would steal my Loverboy CD. Where's my Loverboy CD, Rich?!

Bethgun said...

That's lovely...I'll be out of a job soon, with all of this self-diagnosis available.

I like how the website guy lets his consumers know that he disagrees with the established scientific community on the existence of a particular personality disorder. Not that the scientific community is never wrong, but it's a pretty confident move on his part!

Samsung said...

That's hilarious. Don't worry. 82% is like the trait is practically nonexistent. Can be cured by a sugar pill. Really.