Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The new 30

  • My birthday is Monday. I'll be 30 years old. The makers of beauty products and other types who refuse to accept reality insist, however, that 40 is the new 30, which means that I will, in fact, be turning 40 on Monday. I feel robbed.
    Fortunately for me, beer slows the aging process.
    In honor of this landmark birthday, I have decided to get my first haircut in about a year and a half. The child bride has scheduled said cutting of hair at a Proper Hair-Type Place, where one is referred to as a "client." Belle de Jour used to refer to the men she slept with as "clients," but I doubt my haircut will be nearly as exciting.
    Now the question I'm faced with is what exactly I want to do with this mess of dead cells stuck to my scalp. So far, I have only come up with a description of how I want to look: "a classic look, but as if I've just been in a fight."
    I have no idea what this means, nor how it would be manifested in a hairstyle. Any suggestions?

  • Have I mentioned how pissed off I am that I will be stuck working on St. Patrick's Day?
    I am.
    A lot.
    And my vitriol toward my benevolent employer increases daily as a result. I always take St. Patrick's Day off, along with my birthday -- this year, I'll get neither.
    I have considered quitting, and still haven't totally ruled out the possibility. Work vs. Guinness: guess which one wins in my world.

  • I dream of this happening to my plumbing.
    (Link sent via Huw, who can't be arsed to update his blog)

  • Ass. I am never flying Northwest again -- they want me to pay an extra $15 to sit in an aisle seat.

  • Dumbest hip-hop simile I've heard today: "(I've) got a bill in my mouth like Hillary Rodham."

    TotallyHappened said...

    I was getting ready to send you a link to that beer article too!

    Lucy said...

    Mines on Tuesday. Just imagine: our parents got horny (and reckless) around the same time! Give or take about two decades cos I am WAY younger than you, old man.

    Thomas said...

    With advances in medical technology, 30 really is the new 5.

    Curly said...

    If you shaved ALL of your hair off, would you need the extra room on the plane?

    littlegoat said...

    May I suggest you DO NOT use This website to determine the cut you would like.

    Chris Cope said...

    Charlotte -- It delights me that when people see articles about beer, they send them to me.

    Lucy -- The one-day separation in our births means that I am a Pisces, and you are an Aries. According to the Internet, Pisces and Aries are a horrible match -- stop toying with my heart, you raven-haired Irish vixen!
    Although, if you were born before 6 a.m. on March 21, it was still March 20 in Texas. Alternately, since I was born after noon on March 20, it was March 21 in Ireland. So, in some time zone, you and I definitely share the same birthday.
    To save the world a bit of time, I think we should agree to celebrate both birthdays on the same day.
    Here, I'll flip a coin to decide: heads, we celebrate on March 20; tails, we celebrate on March 21.
    It's heads.
    Your birthday will now be celebrated on Monday. You may want to let your friends know.

    Littlegoat -- Do you think I should go with this look?

    Crystal said...

    mohawk. mohawk. mohawk.

    Samsung said...

    So, is that the correct lyric? I can never tell...


    Samsung said...

    Re: your comment to me,

    That's a very good point Chris. If we all knew what we needed, life would be alot easier and probably wouldn't need to drag out for so long.

    Is it even possible to know all we need if we can't even fully know ourselves?

    lfc said...

    go with the classic mullet. can't go wrong. or better yet, the skullet (a mullet on the bottom, bald on top for those of you not familiar with the popular hairstyle).
    and bump off that other sarah chick and add me back into your links beoyotch.

    Bram Davidson said...


    Lindsay Hansen said...

    I swear to God, Northwest sucks! I'm not paying for an aisle seat! What they SHOULD do is give you a discount to be in the middle seat, or to be in the midst of crying children.
    I'm just saying.

    Miss Nibbles said...

    Ahhh yes...

    a haircut... hmmm...

    Classic and fightworthy... How about a buzz cut with the word "fighter" carved into it...

    Yes, I win.

    One time I flew. I jumped off the plane too. (of course, I waited for it to land first.

    Miss Nibbles

    Bethgun said...

    Actually, I think that makes 30 the new 20, so you're turning 20. Law-abiding citizen that you are, I assume this means you won't be celebrating with any alcoholic beverages!

    Astrid said...

    I guess you are going to have to take your birthday-hat off when you are at the hair-saloon, huh?