Does anyone have a few thousand dollars they want to give me? I am in the process of applying for student loans to go to Cardiff but it is killing my mind. I am so confused right now that I can't verbalize it. I can't even analogize my confusion. I can't compare it to anything. It's not like anything. It is beyond my capacity to even begin to understand what I need to understand.
Here's what I do know: I need several thousand dollars. I'm not even completely sure on how many thousands of dollars I need; I think I need $14,790. But it could be that I need $19,010. I am praying it's the former*.
When I needed money in Nevada, they had me fill out a FAFSA application. I waited a few weeks, and then received a letter telling me to go to an administrative office where a grumpy woman had me sign my name to several pieces of paper. A few weeks later, they sent me a check consisting of the loan money left over from the tuition fees and I used it to buy beer and presents for my wife. It was simple, and all I had to do was sign away my soul to Nelnet.
This time around, it doesn't work that way. I have again filled out a FAFSA application -- two months ago -- but have not been instructed to sign away my soul or fill out forms in triplicate or any other such thing. I called Cardiff University this morning and they told me that it was up to me to find someone to give my soul to. I am trying to do this, but it's turning out to be far more complicated than you would expect. It is so complicated, so confusing, that I can't get a mental grasp on it well enough to define the questions that I have. I can't even tell you how confusing it is. I know only that I need money and that I don't have it.
Mental note: purchase lottery ticket.
Littlegoat today took issue with my claim to have come up with the word "retropost," directing me to a blog where the term was used 15 days ago.
Big deal! I came up with the term more than 16 years ago, as my archives clearly show.
Here's a random and painful memory: Madame the puppet. Completely out of the blue today I visualized her as the personification of my evil thoughts.
*Mother of Pete, though, that's a lot of money either way. What the fuck am I doing?