Wednesday, April 12, 2006

It lights up!

  • How is this not tacky?

  • Comic Ralphie May has a bit in which he claims that homosexuals have made it impossible for a person to use a rainbow without it being some sort of political-social-sexual commentary: "They done took the rainbow. I want the rainbow back. You can't have the rainbow, damn it. We didn't vote on this; I didn't get an e-mail... I'm taking the rainbow back"
    Similarly, in addition to ushering in the resurgence of the word, "mama," I want to take back the word "conservative." I was thinking this morning about the fact that I would describe myself as a socialist conservative (or conservative socialist? I'm not sure) and how both those words are value-weighted and don't necessarily reflect what I'm trying to say. By value-weighted, I mean that people attach an emotional value to the word and decide that something is inherently good or bad based on the use of the word.
    "Democracy" is one of those words. If something is a democracy, or democratic, we the wondrous peoples of (partially) democratic societies, assume that thing is inherently good. Interestingly, if the democratic process awards power to a bunch of nutjobs, we assume the process was corrupted and that "democracy" is still absent.
    For some people, "conservative" = bad. And the word has inherited all sorts of inferred meanings that cannot be found in the dictionary definition on the word: "marked by moderation or caution."
    By describing myself as conservative, I mean that I believe that it is right and good to conserve resources and energy, to conserve financially, and, in some cases, to conserve one's behavior for the good of society.
    I'm taking "conservative" back, mama. I can't figure out how to describe myself otherwise.

  • Related to the above: a good way to soften charges of child abandonment would be to describe it as "promoting infant freedom." I should write that down for when I become a father and leave my kids in the car at a bar parking lot while "daddy has a drinky."

  • Lame typo that makes copy editors giggle: "Greer has been charged with wonton endangerment."

  • Here's a quote from me about a particularly stupid person: "That man is a living example of the philosophical flaw in the American dream: If a man really tries, he can be whatever he wants to be, but sometimes a person just shouldn't be what they are."

  • In that song "Stupid Girl," by Pink, I keep hearing the lyric: "Check out my corned beef hat."

  • I'm thinking of making "I like ice cream" a sort of catchphrase interjection for all situations.
    Sometimes I will be part of a group and I want to add to the conversation, but I can't think of anything to say. If I were to use, "I like ice cream," in those cases, it would become a sort of funny thing for me to say. People would laugh and think I was being witty by using my catchphrase, when, in fact, I am just an idiot who doesn't want to be left out of things.

  • Is it just me, or does the Owain Glyndwr in this video look too much like Will Farrell?

    Bethgun said...

    I just saw Pink on Oprah (now that I'm on vacation I actually have time for daytime TV), and she said that her husband dated hot girls before her, and wanted to marry her because she made him read books and talk to her. Hmmmm. Do you think there are more men like this out there? You know, the ones that prefer nerdiness to hotness. Is someone stockpiling them somewhere!?

    Anonymous said...

    Can you get me one of those Christmas trees WITH LIGHTS?? There are several local preachers that I would like to show how churchy I am.

    And I hate to say this, Chris, but Hamas IS a democracy. Not a good one, though.

    Chris Cope said...

    You're right, Hoss, that Hamas is democratically elected. My point is that because they don't like Hamas, a lot of people seem to want to claim that the system there is flawed. As if democracy will automatically elect the best candidate and not just the one that everyone votes for.

    heatherfeather said...

    "with each beautifully sculpted scene, you can almost feel jesus' love, faith and strength."

    but not quite.

    Goo said...

    hey chris, not much time to expain but i think you should take a look at this if you already haven't.

    don't let the url name fool you. they've made success stories out of many a writer/blogger

    Anonymous said...

    ...wonton endangerment....
    Tee hee

    Anonymous said...

    Democracy is for dead Greeks.

    And everyone rises to their own level of incompetence...even if it's molesting Chinese food.

    littlegoat said...

    The woman in the office right next to mine says "mama" a lot. Usually, she calls people "mama," "girl," or "woman."

    There may be hope yet for the popular usage of "mama." Keep spreadin' the good word.

    Neal said...

    I used to think it would be cool to ask people you just met if they wanted to sign some body part of yours. That is sort of like a catch phrase.
    That first link is so tacky that I know about 5 people who would want it, all for different reasons.

    Crystal said...

    Jesus appears to be experiencing a wardrobe malfunction.