Funny that my mom sent me your Life Files column, she's actually from Montana so I doubt she thought much about it being a porn star's name. For someone whose dad tells them that the nature of love involves sacrifice I wonder if you've ever been asked to lay off the pornos. That aside, I agree with your column and was depressed myself when I read this article. The reporter herself was deeply troubled by the difficulty young people, women especially, have connecting to each other in big cities. The spin of the article does make it sound like people are unwilling to put in the care, time and thought that real relationships need but read between the lines: I never said that relationships take too much energy, just so much. It's a strange balance to strike, but then again you can't simultaneously prevent and prepare for war. It's much easier not to claim I'm looking for a relationship and risk scaring someone off. Doesn't make it right, just safer.