Monday, June 5, 2006

Day 1

  • Going back to Friday, my last day at work was relatively uneventful. I just went to work and then went home. All my stuff fit into a grocery bag. It feels a bit weird to have five and a half years fit comfortably into a Lunds paper bag.
    The only real highlight was this fake news story that was sent to me by Adam, who also edits my columns. He deliberately filled the story with errors. What's interesting is that I was in a sort of cruise control mode when this was sent, and, so I didn't realize the story was fake until I got to the part about throwing beer into the river.
    Riots Engulf European Campus
    A battle over foreign students ignights in England. Students at a Welch university burn cars to protest international admissions.
    CARDIFF, Wales -- Students at the University of Cardiff in Wales tore down buildings and poured the cities intire supply of beer into the river Friday.
    They were protosting what some said was the illegitimate admission of an American student to their campus.
    "We English folks need ot keep this sort of academic failure away from us," student Gwynnl Chhgrwz sais.
    Administraters vowed to take the matter under consideration, given that the student has committed many crimes.


  • An additional piece of advice that perhaps I should have put on Friday's post is this: No matter how much you want to, don't publish that your coworker is a obnoxious, annoying, stick-like, ho-bag, sperm-receptacle," because they'll probably find out and you'll lose your job.
    Obviously, I didn't mention that workplace mishap before, because I was still in the service of my formerly benevolent employer. My fellow copy editor caught that error, by the way, but the fella who wrote it had already put it up on his website, so it was made permanent by the keeper of all knowledge that is Google cache. I would make fun of that bloke, but I was once fired for "threatening to kill" my boss in an e-mail.

  • My first official day of unemployment went alright. I didn't take a shower until 4:30 p.m., but the day has been relatively productive. I spent much of my morning on the phone trying to shore up various loose ends that need to be ironed out before I move to Wales. That last sentence was a metaphor cage match, but I think you get my point. I should have a home in Cardiff secured by the end of this week, and within the same time period I plan to push to know everything is all right with my student loan or drop Sallie Mae and use a different loan company.
    I had planned to also call a travel agent and set up plane tickets, but I can only stand being polite to people for so long. Something about talking on the phone with people who aren't friends or relatives makes me want to kill.

  • Cripes, Blogger is the suck. It was off and on all day.

  • Be careful who you screw on eBay.
    (Link sent to me by Huw)

  • I don't find this to be so much funny as it is terrifying.
    (link sent to me by Elisa)
  • 3 comments:

    Curly said...

    They're taking the hobbits to Isengard.

    Stuck in my head now, not healthy.


    And you're right, never in a million years would the entire cities beers supply be chucked into the river. I'd hold a few cans back for myself,

    Dave Morris said...

    The piece about the laptop made me wonder what kind of weird impression people would have of me if they saw my laptop.

    It's all explainable, but context is everything!

    Crystal said...

    terrifying - the understatement of the year.