Thursday, June 15, 2006

What I dream about

I just woke up from a dream in which I performed in a sort of one-man show. At one point in the show, it goes to a pirate restaurant and a straight man asks me (a pirate) a few questions:

SM: "I want to fit in, so I have a few questions about etiquette."

ME: "Etta who?"

SM: "No, etiquette. You know, social rules. Like, which fork should I use when eating prawns?"

ME: "What the hell is wrong with you?"

SM: "OK, I won't worry about forks. Are there any rules that I need observe when consuming alcohol?"

ME: "The first rule o' consumin' alcohol be: Drink as much as ye can! The second rule be: Drink more!"

SM: "Right. So this isn't the sort of environment where I need to worry about keeping my pinky finger extended when drinking."

ME: "Well, I be sayin' ye should. It's the gentlemanly thing to do -- if a woman be needin' that finger for the sake o' pleasure."

4 comments:

Shawn D. Mickschl said...

I want to sing and dance
I want to sing and dance
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance

Anonymous said...

lmao..dreaming that you're a pirate and using your finger to please women all at the same time..we can just guess what was on your sleeping mind, now cant we?

Somebodyiusedtoknow said...

AAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!

Sarah Stevenson said...

I'm trying unsuccessfully to imagine the contortions that would be involved in such a dual use of the pinky finger.