Thursday, June 15, 2006

What I dream about

I just woke up from a dream in which I performed in a sort of one-man show. At one point in the show, it goes to a pirate restaurant and a straight man asks me (a pirate) a few questions:

SM: "I want to fit in, so I have a few questions about etiquette."

ME: "Etta who?"

SM: "No, etiquette. You know, social rules. Like, which fork should I use when eating prawns?"

ME: "What the hell is wrong with you?"

SM: "OK, I won't worry about forks. Are there any rules that I need observe when consuming alcohol?"

ME: "The first rule o' consumin' alcohol be: Drink as much as ye can! The second rule be: Drink more!"

SM: "Right. So this isn't the sort of environment where I need to worry about keeping my pinky finger extended when drinking."

ME: "Well, I be sayin' ye should. It's the gentlemanly thing to do -- if a woman be needin' that finger for the sake o' pleasure."

4 comments:

Shawn D. Mickschl said...

I want to sing and dance
I want to sing and dance
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
Wear me silver-buckled slippers and me tight shiny pants
I want to sing and dance

Helpful Links For Growth said...

lmao..dreaming that you're a pirate and using your finger to please women all at the same time..we can just guess what was on your sleeping mind, now cant we?

Sombody I Used to Know said...

AAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG!!

a. fortis said...

I'm trying unsuccessfully to imagine the contortions that would be involved in such a dual use of the pinky finger.