I just woke up from a dream in which I performed in a sort of one-man show. At one point in the show, it goes to a pirate restaurant and a straight man asks me (a pirate) a few questions:
SM: "I want to fit in, so I have a few questions about etiquette."
ME: "Etta who?"
SM: "No, etiquette. You know, social rules. Like, which fork should I use when eating prawns?"
ME: "What the hell is wrong with you?"
SM: "OK, I won't worry about forks. Are there any rules that I need observe when consuming alcohol?"
ME: "The first rule o' consumin' alcohol be: Drink as much as ye can! The second rule be: Drink more!"
SM: "Right. So this isn't the sort of environment where I need to worry about keeping my pinky finger extended when drinking."
ME: "Well, I be sayin' ye should. It's the gentlemanly thing to do -- if a woman be needin' that finger for the sake o' pleasure."