Friday, September 8, 2006

1386 is alright for fighting

Quite a while ago (under "Dydd Sul 30 Gorffennaf""), I mentioned that the child bride and I went to a mediaeval festival called Joust. I mentioned also that it wasn't quite as good as Renaissance Festival because it took itself a little too seriously. There was a serious dearth of fart jokes at Joust.

But they had beer, so I made the best of it. Unfortunately, this resulted in my getting into a fight.

It all started when I wondered over to an area of reenactor types who had set up camp at the periphery of the festival. Outside one of the tents, someone had set up a large array of mediaeval weaponry, so I decided to play around with one of the sticks...
Nice stick

As you can see, the lovechild of Peter Pan and the Michelin Man came out to yell at me, primarily because I was calling it a "stick" and not a "halberd." People who do reenactment are a little touchy about that kind of stuff. I didn't like his tone, though, so I thought I should let him know that a person wielding a halberd should be allowed to call it anything he wants...
Back off, Puffy

He didn't think it was as funny as I did and we exchanged words. He made fun of my nose and I told him he was so poor he could hardly afford papal indulgences and therefore had no choice but to live a life of goodness and piety...
Fightin' talk

He tried to cool my heretical tongue with cold steel, but my reflexes are cat like and I was out of his sword's deadly path in an instant...
Close one

I warned him that he would receive no Christian burial from me, then proceeded to give him what for...
On the attack

By this time, our disagreement had drawn the attention of no small amount of onlookers. Of course the ladies were crying my name. I'm afraid that my attention was more toward the fair maidens when that fiend was able to put me on my heels...
Too close

I was back at him quickly, however. The battle lasted for several minutes. I must admit it had been foolish to go into a fight my head so swimming with ale. My attacks were too few and I spent much of my time swatting away his weak adances...
Again he goes low

You can see here he is raising his sword in a futile attempt to hold me off, but it was ultimately unsuccessful...
Coming in for the kill

This is a family blog, so I'm afraid I can't show you what happened next. Suffice to say, however, I am the one who is here to tell the tale.

2 comments:

TadMack said...

Ooh, I love the technology in 1386. Slow-mo and everything!

a. fortis said...

HA! This was highly amusing. You got him good, I'm sure.