Friday, September 22, 2006

One for the kids

  • I start classes on Tuesday. That means I've been spending the past few days trying to get everything organized and occasionally lapsing into ridiculous panic over the possibility that I have forgotten some Really Important Thing that will prevent me from attending university.
    The money is sorted out, at least. I think. There appears to be only one person in Cardiff University's finance department who understands the procedure involved with U.S. student loans. And there appears to be more than one American attending Cardiff, because that guy is always busy. That leaves me dealing with people who don't really have a clue. But at least they are polite about it.
    ME: "So everything's sorted? I can enroll on Tuesday?"
    POLITE BUT IGNORANT PERSON: "Yes. Well, I should think so."
    ME: "And the remainder of the loan money -- when will I get that? I need it to pay rent."
    PBIP: "Oh, uhm. I should think it would take at least 10 days. Call back then."

  • Lately, I've noticed a bad habit on my part of telling stories that have no real point. At the end of them, I will look at the person I'm speaking to and read on their face complete and absolute boredom. To that end, I have taken to saying this a lot: "That was a good story, wasn't it? I think I'll write that one down and save it for my children."

  • Last night I dreamt that Reese Witherspoon was trying to steal me away from the child bride. She made a pretty convincing case, being all touch-feely and playing to my ego -- she laughed at my jokes and told me I was a good writer*. But in the end I said no. I turned down Reese Witherspoon for my wife.
    Admittedly, it was only in my head, but I still don't think Rachel is giving me the credit I deserve. When I told her about my dream, she only commented that it was hilarious that I fantasize about beautiful women not so much having sex with me, but saying nice things.

  • In the interest of full disclosure, however, it should be noted that on the same night I dreamt about spurning Reese Witherspoon's advances, I also woke up in illness-induced sweats several times. For the second time in as many months, I am really, really sick. Guess how happy I am that this comes just days before I'm supposed to start on my course.

  • Because I am sick, there will likely be no Penhill and Sneaveweedle adventure this week. Staring at the computer screen is giving me a headache.
  • 9 comments:

    Jenny said...

    Although I think she is a competent actress and snazzy dresser, I find Reese Witherspoon's face highly slappable.

    Huw said...

    I have also succumbed to the death cloud, so would have been in no state to read about Penhill and Sneaveweedle's latest goings on. I had sneezed nine times before lunch today. Not good.

    Chris Cope said...

    Who counts how many times they sneeze?

    Huw said...

    Hypochondriacs. You’ll all be at it now though. Mark my words.

    Lucy said...

    I say 'That's a great story, you should tell that at parties' when someone tells me a boring story. Myself, I never tell boring stories. They're all riveting romps from start to finish with plenty and sex and violence. Oh yes.

    Charlotte said...

    A friend of mine always tells pointless stories and you can tell the exact moment he realizes that he is doing it because he proudly proclaims, "And then I found five apples!" and stops talking.

    Violet said...

    I have a tendency to tell pointless stories, too... I always think that they are completely relevant when I begin them. When I reach the end, I realize that not only did the story have nothing to do with the topic at hand, but it was completely anti-climactic as well. Let me know if you find a remedy for this problem.

    a. fortis said...

    I have the same prob as Violet. I think mine stems from the time I used to write daily pointless columns for IGN.com. My huge fear is that the tendency to tell pointless stories will one day extend to my fiction writing.

    DaviMack said...

    Not to worry, a.fortis, they have editors for that problem. And then? When you get really well known and rich as a writer? Then you can do the whole "unabridged" thing and leave the pointless stories IN, just like Steven King, Anne Rice, etc. AND you can release the version BEFORE your decent editor got ahold of it ... and rake in even MORE money. Of course, your soul goes with it, but so what? If it gets the page count up, that's what they're paying for....