Tuesday, December 5, 2006

No, Jammie Dodgers do not count in your '5 A Day'

The child bride and I need a car. Well, the child bride needs a car; suffering Arriva gives me something to talk about and, unlike driving, it is an experience improved by alcohol.

But Arriva doesn't go to Ebbw Vale, which is where Rachel's new job is based*.

In searching for pictures of Ebbw Vale, I found a website that offered such exciting scenes as the Argos, the Domino's, and (I hope you're sitting down) the interior of a multi-storey car park. I've never actually been there, but from what people tell me of the place, there's not much else to see. Like a lot of Welsh towns, its history is tied to the slow, miserable decline of mining (coal, iron, slate, et al) until the industry's abrupt death due to Thatcherism. Not a whole hell of a lot has happened since. If you know anything about dietary trends, you know that this sort of situation -- where identity, community, and economy are struggling -- tends to result in high rates of obesity.

So, Rachel will be working with children and their parents and trying to make a difference. It's not exactly the glamorous European experience that Americans abroad want to put into letters. We want to be able to make it sound like outdoor cafes and reading of broadsheet newspapers are everyday experiences. Nonetheless, Rachel is really looking forward to it; this is actually what she went to university for.

And, as I say, now we have to find a car. Most likely, we'll end up with something ridiculously small and embarrassing for me to be seen in, like a Ford KA (for those of you playing along at home, this car is wee; it is smaller than a Mini; my bicycle looks quite large in comparison). Although we would like to avoid buying a car that is GM or Ford, this looks to be a lot harder than you would think. We have thought we might get a French car simply to annoy our staunchly pro-American family members. For these purposes, we'd like a Peugeot 206 that plays "La Marsellaise" when you hit the horn.

*That's called burying the lede, kids. The child bride got a job!!

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Isn't the ka the one that nipped off the cat's head?
No, hang on, it was Sportka. I definitely think you should get this car.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc8H8toODQY

PS. congrats to the child bride

Mrs.Lucky said...

Seeing that you're in Europe, you should get yourself a frigging scooter already!!! Cheap, reliable, and awfully stylin. I can't tell you how much I love my Vespa.
Congrats to the child bride on getting the job of her dreams!

Elimare said...

woohoo! good stuff, she must be chuffed! and just in time for Christmas.

Curly said...

Congratulations to Rachel!

Ebbw Vale is situated in a lovely place. The multi-storey is quite nice as far as they go, and it's free!

I've got a picture of another car park in Ebbw Vale in this post, if you're interested.

Curly said...

Oh yeah... get a scooter too... apart from the obvious difficulties (rain, little pikeys with screwdrivers, hills) - I'm not sure one will go down too well in Ebbw.

Isobel said...

Congratulations to Rachel!

I did really well with my Fiat 126 for a while. If you're looking for a stupidly small car you can't go wrong.
When the gear box broke I couldn't reverse for a month or so - so I used to hop out and push it backwards to park it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat_126

lupa said...

Well done to the Child Bride.
And have a good holiday, here or in the States?

DaviMack said...

Congrats to Rachel, and to both of you for making a go of it.

Anonymous said...

Congrats!

Truly, you must get the Child Bride a scooter. Then, when the time is right, you'll be able to get your Ducati.

All this for less than the price of a car.

Donal said...

Excellent news! Congratulations to Rachel and best of luck with it.

Also, are you blaming Margaret Thatcher for making Welsh people fat?

That's inspired. I fucking knew the Tories were to blame. I knew it.

Chris Cope said...

Thatcherism is to blame for everything bad, Donal. Everything.

Koss said...

Yay, Rachel!!!!! Way to use the MPH! Does this mean no more capitalistic Starbucks?

Zoe said...

Yeah, really late on this, but congrats to Rachel! I know that must be a relief...

a. fortis said...

Joining rather late in the congrats to the child bride! Finding a job is always stress city at the best of times. Cheers to you both--I'll drink a toast next time I have some booze, which will probably be in a couple of hours.

Spider63 said...

Obese Children are becoming an epidemic! Where are the parents?

Anonymous said...

With regards to your comments on Ebbw Vale I would just like to ask you too look again at the website and see that its not just an agos and a car park.