Sunday, December 10, 2006

The Sheriff of Nottingham can score one more than you

  • What the hell is wrong with you, Britain? Louisa Lytton is out of Strictly Come Dancing. I am shocked. I am outraged. Has the world gone completely mad?!

  • In car news, we've decided on the Peugeot. We went with this one for a handful of reasons:
    1) It's a diesel. They get slightly better gas mileage and the engines hold up longer. Also, diesels are a little noisier and, due to aspects that involve attempting to use the word "torque" without sounding like some idiot who just learned the word "torque" and wants to throw it around, it feels more powerful. So, it is about as manly as a 1.9-litre hatchback can get.
    2) The engine looks easier to work with. Granted, it is still ridiculously wee, but at least I was able to immediately identify the location of simple things like the oil filter, air filter and serpentine belt*. The fact that I knew that much about an engine completely shocked the bloke who sold me the car. Apparently no one in this country works on their car. This fact is most evident in that a common tactic of Phil Mitchell is to remove the distributor cap. This puts his enemies totally at his mercy because apparently no one else in the whole of East London knows how to fix a car.
    3) It's Frenchy; I can see my mother-in-law grimacing now.
    4) It's actually an OK little car.
    I'll take pictures when I get a chance.

  • Dude! The Sheriff of Nottingham in BBC's "Robin Hood" is a member of Fat Les of "Vindaloo" fame! And -- strangely, in light of the previous fact -- he's Welsh.
    For those of you playing along at home, BBC 1 airs a weekly ultra-revisionist/populist version of Robin Hood that the child bride refuses to miss. Hands down, the Sheriff is the best character on the show because he is unscrupulously evil.

    *And some of these parts are actually accessible. Obviously, there's not a whole lot of space under the bonnet ("hood," for those of you playing along at home), but I will be able to change the oil.

    Wierdo said...

    Evil people rule!

    Or, they should, but for some reason, the good guys always win. Damn

    Ray Diota said...

    allen's not welsh, he's a cunt

    Huw said...

    I love the fact that Sir Guy of Gisborne wears some sort of PVC biker get-up.

    Anonymous said...

    A missing distributor cap wouldn't stop us Uhmerkins for long. In fact, I bet McGyver could make one in about 5 minutes out of a McDonald's cup and some french fries. I mean freedom fries.

    Robert Humphries said...

    I will have to watch out for this new Robin Hood on BBC America. My wife has long been a fan of the merry man in green tights since girlhood. Her favorites are the old Errol Flynn/Olivia de Haviland version and the Patrick Bergin/Uma Thurman film from the 80s. I understand "Prince of Thieves" was made in part at Chepstow castle. I've never watched it though, Kevin Costner is enough to keep me away.

    I have a dear friend here in Wisconsin whose main obsessions include: lichens, goats and Peugeots. He will approve of your purchase.

    It's a damn shame they don't sell any French cars here. My own mother-in-law has the same aversion to all things French, and it would be fun to tootle her around town in a Citroën.

    Jenny said...

    The boy and I love Peugeots, and have had a succession of them during our car-borrowing expeditions.

    I am fast losing respect for you with your chavvy-telly-watching ways, though. Strictly Come Dancing. Eastenders. Your brains will rot!

    Chris Cope said...

    Jenny, does it count for anything that I am also an avid watcher of "QI," "Planet Earth," and "Coast?"

    Jenny said...

    Only if you daydream elaborate fantasies involving Neil Oliver, God of Sex.

    Anonymous said...

    My family test drove a Peugeot when I was younger. My brother threw up in it.

    Anonymous said...

    What's funny is that my bike is made by the same company that made your car. Back here they would consider your car no better than a bike as well I fathom.

    mo** said...

    I don't know if I should defend it coz it's french..and I don't know how many french bloggers come here...but really- it's a car and I don't drive nor do I know anything about cars so..instead I'll say.euh..nothing..nothing at allp oh yes!! I can say : CONGRATS :)

    Anonymous said...

    The whole car thing leaves me cold. I get my girlfriend to drive me around everywhere so I'm pretty much sorted on that front. It is hard to care about the make of these things. It gets me there - good. If it doesn't - taxi. And if it needs tinkered with or fixed or pushed up a hill or something, she'll pretty much take care of it. Like I say, sorted.

    Anyway, the real reason I'm here is because of your first paragraph regarding the exit of Louisa Lytton from Strictly Come Dancing. I share your frothing outrage and commend you for highlighting this rank and unpardonable treachery.

    I feel ashamed that you have had to witness the British people - in the name of democracy - act in such a cavalier and disgusting manner. Although I am rooting for Mark Ramprakash myself (don't ask) I felt that the sprightly little Londoner deserved better than this. Poor wee chimp.

    I think it is fair to say - and I'm not one to exaggerate or resort to hyperbole - that this act of brutal cowardice by the Great British public ranks alongside the sustained bombing of Dresden in the 1940's.

    Not in my name.

    You show the way with your perfectly justifiable moral outrage - and I can only hope that you have helped bring us loony Brits to our collective senses as we hang our heads in shame and consider what we have just done.

    Forgive us, brother, for we have sinned.

    Kind regards etc...