Sunday, January 7, 2007


I had a dream last night that I was in a romantic comedy with Matthew McConaughey and Reese Witherspoon, but I was living the film, if that makes sense. I was aware that everything was following a set plotline and that McConaughey and Witherspoon were, in fact McConaughey and Witherspoon, and not the characters they were playing, but I felt all the things that happened to me.

I was the comic-partner-sort-of-thing to McConaughey's wealthy and slightly arrogant character. He was trying to exact revenge from Witherspoon, who had fouled up some major business deal. Or some such thing. It was a romantic comedy, so of course strength of plot wasn't particularly relevant.

I was a homeless guy who hung out with five very large dogs that would keep me warm a night by sleeping on top of me. A number of my scenes involved having conversations with the dogs. I can now only remember two of the dogs' names: Benedict and Bottlenose.

Benedict (short for Benedict Arnold, of course) was so named because he was desperate to find a new owner. He would run up to people in the park where we lived and try to charm them into taking him in. When I caught him doing this, I would shout: "Traitor!"

Bottlenose was a muddy golden retriever who took incredible joy in finding plastic Coca-Cola* bottle caps and bringing them to me.

McConaughey recruited me to pull all kinds of boneheaded stunts in an attempt to embarrass Witherspoon, but, of course, they all fell through.

I can't remember exactly how the love story of McConaughey and Witherspoon went, but predictably it involved a life-altering fall from wealth that resulted in McConaughey hanging out with me and the dogs. And something hinged on Witherspoon becoming Benedict's new owner.

In my storyline, after Benedict's departure, all the other dogs leave as well, one by one, until it's just me and Bottlenose trudging through a cold rain. As you will have seen coming from a mile off, Bottlenose digs from the mud a Coca-Cola bottle cap that is from one of those look-under-the-cap competitions. The cap is worth £100,000.

McConaughey and Witherspoon end up together, and me and Bottlenose become millionaires -- having invested much of our winnings in Coca-Cola stock. The end.

*My dreams have product placement.


heatherfeather said...

I once dreamt I was a lawyer in a movie and that the mafia characters in the movie were trying to kill me because I knew how the movie ended.

Anonymous said...

I like this dream. It actually follows a story. My dreams never make any damn sense, unless they're really short double or single scene ditties.

It is also very YOU. What this means I cannot say, but it is true. Not that character you were in the dream, necessarily, but the feeling of it altogether, as a whole.

Nic said...

Your dreams have narrative arc, and closure. The deserving poor are never rewarded in my dreams. Maybe I'm waking up too early.