Occasionally people will tell me that they are envious of me because I'm actually acting upon a Sunday afternoon idea.
Sunday afternoons seem to be particularly conducive to "what if"-style thought. It's perhaps that mix of the relaxation of a weekend and the frustration of knowing that said weekend is almost over. So, if the weather's nice and you've got nothing to do, you find yourself lying on the couch and thinking: "I wish I had a boat;" or "I wish I could live on a big ranch on Montana;" or "I wish I could drop everything and scarper off about 5,000 miles from here and become expert at speaking a 2,600-year-old language."
People tell me that they admire me (excuse me while I knock down a wall to make room for my ego) because, after so many Sunday afternoons, I actually did that thing I was daydreaming about.
I'm glad that I did, and that I am. But there are certain realities that perhaps I didn't think all the way through. Debt, for instance. I chose to daydream about living in a place that is doubly expensive to live in as the United States. And, so, to get by, I'm having to take out loans that will eventually see the child bride and I owing about what it would cost to buy a lovely three-bedroom home in West Columbia, Texas.
When I feel like beating up on myself, I will bring this fact up in the constant internal conversations I have. I will try to work out exactly how much money I've wasted in eating a tub of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream, instead of writing an essay on how the work of Federico García Lorca foreshadowed the Spanish Civil War.
Fortunately, I am shit at math*, so I've never come up with any solid figures. But it's a good bet that this video cost much, much more than it's worth. That said, I am strangely proud of it. If there were any justice in the world, my "Hikky Burr" dance would become an Internet sensation.
*I suppose this is one of the factors that made it possible for me to act on my daydream of moving to Wales. I was able to allow myself to enter into so much debt because I am incapable of truly understanding what it all means.