Those of you playing along at home are missing out on my favourite television programme in a long time: "Last Man Standing." It airs on BBC Three and is a strange mix of reality television, travel show, and sports entertainment*. It features six blokes -- three American and three British -- travelling around the world and taking part in various tribal sports and tribal customs. They live with people of the village for a fortnight or so, working alongside them whilst training, and then they take part in a massive competition that often sees them getting schooled by tiny tribesmen.
So far they have wrestled in the Amazon, fought with sticks in South Africa, run a ridiculous race in Mexico (that one was a sham), participated in kick-fighting in India and wrestled in Mongolia. It is a shockingly addictive show and I find myself able to recite far more information about it than I should.
The other day, Facebook friend Helen and I suddenly went into stalker mode (as she pointed out: "Stalking is fun when you have a fellow stalker to share experiences with") and hunted down the Facebook profiles for all the show's contestants. Friend requests were promptly sent, but as yet have not been accepted. I am particularly hoping to be added to the list of friends for Brad Johnson (not to be confused with Brad Johnson) and wee Richard Massey.
Brad is a big black guy from Oklahoma who has more cool than the combined population of several Midwestern states**. A week ago, when all they guys were at a meal and suddenly informed that they were eating dog, Brad didn't even break pace. The camera then turned to him and he said: "I just ate some dog. Tastes decent."
So far Brad has won two events and was robbed in a third. In South Africa, the guys only had to participate in one stick fight; of those that won their fights, the tribal chief then determined a winner. The chief clearly based his decision on which fight was most interesting to watch, which ruled out Brad because his opponent had run away (I would have, too -- if this guy were coming at me with a stick, I'd be gone).
Richard, meanwhile, is the plucky Englishman who loses at everything but in a way that causes you to never remember that he's lost. I think it has something to do with the fact that he never really complains about anything. I have decided that if he accepts my friend request, I will get a T-shirt made that says: "Richard Massey is my Facebook friend. Bitch."
Is anyone else watching this show?
I think the highlight this week came when Rajko and Jason had to castrate sheep with their bare hands (uhm, not for sensitive viewers, that clip). Afterward they were served testicle soup and Jason provided the show's best quote: "We'll both stick a big fat testicle in our mouth at the same time."
*"Sports entertainment" is a term coined by professional wrestling. I don't think the outcomes of "Last Man Standing" are predetermined but it is like pro wrestling in that who wins isn't all that relevant.
**Not Minnesota, because they've got Prince.