Sunday, July 1, 2007

Where's the hate?

It's kind of a mixed blessing that this most recent batch of terrorists has been so inept. Yes, it's good that despite three incidents, a grand total of one person has been injured -- that one person being the bloke who set himself on fire. But there's also the pride issue. I mean, what's the deal, al-Qaeda? Why are you sending us the guys who clearly flunked out of terrorist school?

Also, what's the deal with ignoring Wales? London and Glasgow, but not Cardiff? What's up with that? Where's the love? Or, hate, as it were?

You don't have to load an expensive vehicle full of stuff that won't blow up -- a Ford Fiesta with a few oily rags in the boot would be fine. Just something to acknowledge that as a capital city of Western Europe we are as deserving of your scorn as other places. Did you know that Hillary Clinton's family is Welsh? Come on al-Qaeda, we gave the world a prominent and powerful woman who toils for the Great Satan and won't wear a burka. Surely that's worth something.

Listen, we'll cut you a deal: If you set fire to a Vespa in the Bay, we promise to pretend that it's made us really apprehensive. Actually, we probably wouldn't do that. But still, we're no less great than other Great Satans.

NB - My favourite aspect of the Glasgow attack is the fact that as the bloke on fire was running away from police, random Glaswegian Stephen Clarkson punched him, thus knocking him to the ground. Other people run for their lives from terrorists; in Glasgow, they kick the terrorist's ass.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think Captain Jack has probably foiled a lot of Cardiff-based terror plots.

Count yourself lucky! Every morning I wonder if I'll get to work with all my limbs attached.

Jenny

Chris Cope said...

Jenny, that's true. The protection of an immortal bisexual goes a long way toward ensuring our safety.

Ray Diota said...

If you're going to encourage terrorists to target Wales, couldn't you point them in the direction of Caernarfon?

It crossed my mind that you may well be Captain Jack, Chris - you turned up in Cardiff at roughly the same time sporting funny accents... and i've not seen him on an arriva train at the same time as you...

Elisa said...

I have only just found out that Dr Who is recorded in Cardiff. HOW did I not know this??

Big Primpin' said...

al-Qaeda has indeed gone soft in recent months. As an investigative writer, I participated under the guise of a terrorism devotee in an open tryout near Detroit back in April, and they provided unlimited soda and cotton candy afterward. Though they said I wasn't jihad material, they really were quite nice people.