Here's an academic tip from your good ol' Uncle Chris: Know what day to show up.
Up until about 11 p.m. Monday night, I was under the impression that not until next week did the spring semester get under way. To that point I had been feeling happy with myself.
"I've got everything pretty much nailed down," I was thinking. "I expect it will be a challenging semester, but by Monday I should be ready."
Then I saw I had missed a day of classes. My immediate response was to swear profusely. Then I thought about it for a bit more -- how stupid a person has to be to spend a whole fucking month on academic break and never once really check the university calendar -- and decided the best course of action would be to stomp around the house, alternating between growling profanities and occasionally screeching them out in high-pitch bursts.
Then I got locked in that thing of being really really really angry. I was irate that I would have to write to professors and explain that I am too stupid to use a calendar and could I please pick up any handouts that were given on the first day. And over the weekend I was telling Jen how I'm thinking of trying for a master's degree? Right.
I got angry at the fact that I was so angry I couldn't calm down. I sat there and tried to think peaceful thoughts but any attempts to mentally place myself on a lake of serenity were disrupted by the heavy shelling of self-directed rage. I got so angry that, unthinkingly, I reared back and punched myself as hard as I could in the head. Yep, I have the emotional maturity of a 6-year-old. The punch was shockingly painful and I dropped to a knee, which, of course, only made me angrier. What kind of wuss am I that I can't even take one of my own punches? Then, I just sort of stood in the living room, walking in circles, so angry that I couldn't think of how to express my anger.
None of this, unfortunately, moved me any closer to being prepared for this week. Things were thrown together Tuesday morning and I am now in a harried state of not really knowing what I'm doing; trying to sort out old work as new work piles in.
Yep, this semester's gonna be swell.