Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Not the best start

Here's an academic tip from your good ol' Uncle Chris: Know what day to show up.

Up until about 11 p.m. Monday night, I was under the impression that not until next week did the spring semester get under way. To that point I had been feeling happy with myself.

"I've got everything pretty much nailed down," I was thinking. "I expect it will be a challenging semester, but by Monday I should be ready."

Then I saw I had missed a day of classes. My immediate response was to swear profusely. Then I thought about it for a bit more -- how stupid a person has to be to spend a whole fucking month on academic break and never once really check the university calendar -- and decided the best course of action would be to stomp around the house, alternating between growling profanities and occasionally screeching them out in high-pitch bursts.

Then I got locked in that thing of being really really really angry. I was irate that I would have to write to professors and explain that I am too stupid to use a calendar and could I please pick up any handouts that were given on the first day. And over the weekend I was telling Jen how I'm thinking of trying for a master's degree? Right.

I got angry at the fact that I was so angry I couldn't calm down. I sat there and tried to think peaceful thoughts but any attempts to mentally place myself on a lake of serenity were disrupted by the heavy shelling of self-directed rage. I got so angry that, unthinkingly, I reared back and punched myself as hard as I could in the head. Yep, I have the emotional maturity of a 6-year-old. The punch was shockingly painful and I dropped to a knee, which, of course, only made me angrier. What kind of wuss am I that I can't even take one of my own punches? Then, I just sort of stood in the living room, walking in circles, so angry that I couldn't think of how to express my anger.

None of this, unfortunately, moved me any closer to being prepared for this week. Things were thrown together Tuesday morning and I am now in a harried state of not really knowing what I'm doing; trying to sort out old work as new work piles in.

Yep, this semester's gonna be swell.


Unknown said...

I tell you what, I'll throw a piece of candy at your face if you think it will help.

Lucky said...

Don't feel too bad. I did that, only I didn't figure it out until I got back to my dorm and everyone asked where the hell I'd been.

Anonymous said...

I'm not seeing anything here about kicking a hole through a corporate logo. You've mellowed with age, Cope.

heatherfeather said...

I did that with a job interview. For a job I REALLY really wanted.

Sorry, mate.

Tom Parsons said...

I did that once, in reverse though: I woke up late on a Sunday thinking it was the day of my anthropology final, which wasn't until the next day. Sorry it happened to you.

Anonymous said...

Poor you. I get so worried that this will happen to me at work that I spend every Sunday of the summer vacation neurotically checking the calendar like a crazy woman.

How did you happen to notice that you'd missed a day? Did you casually glance at term dates, then do a double take, then stand in panicked confusion for a fully minute before falling to your knees and bellowing? That's how I imagine it.