EDIT: If you're the sort of person who likes to read in chronological order, before reading this post first go through these:
- First quarter
- Second quarter
- Third quarter
- OK, now read the post below
15:00 - Sweet Jesus Joseph and Mary. I am so tired. I hate the NFL. Why am I forcing myself to watch this game?
14:52 - They're showing "celebrities" now, including Frank Caliendo. Is there anyone in Britain who knows who that guy is?
13:53 - Hey Bradshaw, run it into the pile.
13:12 - Hey Bradshaw, run it into the pile.
11:50 - Hey Bradshaw, run it into the pile.
11:05 - Touchdown. 10-7 Giants. I will never understand what the hell "play action" means. I love seeing Tom Brady look miserable. Tom Brady is great for me to poop on.
10:59 - Eli Manning looks like a 17-year-old boy. A really stupid 17-year-old boy. If I saw him at Starbucks, I would walk down the street to another Starbucks because he would be the sort of person to hand you a cold hot chocolate.
9:36 - I am so tired. I have been watching this game for three days.
9:20 - The San Diego Chargers and the New Orleans Saints are the teams playing in London in October. How shit is that?
8:21 - Why do the refs have tight athletic shirts? Is that really necessary?
4:12 - I'm disturbed by Sterling Sharpe: "Randy Moss is a very cute route runner."
2:42 - Now 14-10 Patriots. I hate Randy Moss. I hate him. I also hate that for the last 20 minutes there have been less than 3 minutes on the clock. What day is it? Where am I?
1:26 - I think it's May now. Please send help.
1:04 - Holy shit. That was the best play ever. Manning shook off a certain sack then threw into hardcore coverage to get down the field some 20 yards. Almost certainly he will fumble the next snap.
0:51 - Or get sacked.
0:35 - Holy shit. A proper comeback. Now 17-14 Giants. It's like a football game that's actually worth watching. A Super Bowl that lives up to its hype.
0:29 - I am going to be pissed if this game goes to overtime. For the love of Pete, let me sleep.
0:19 - I love seeing Tom Brady get sacked!
0:01 - That's game Hendrix. There's still a second left on the clock and I'm surprised NFL rule mongers haven't forced everyone off the field for the sake of kicking the ball. I don't care. I'm going to bed. It is 3:07 a.m.